Day 29-In this past month, what have you learned?

I have learned to let go.

There was a ton written here, but due to some glitch in blogger it's been erased. Sorry. I guess you need to be on the ball to read my blog.

Day 28-A picture of you from last year and now-how have you changed?

I have changed a lot over the last two years, 2009-2011.

St. Patrick's Day 2010

Last year I was a house wife with a beautiful home and an adorable dog who was my constant companion.  I could count on her to keep me company, do what I wanted to do, stay sober and love me unconditionally. 

Now I am single, living in a small apartment and surrounded by friends. At times I really miss my dog, but I know I can see her whenever I want and for now it's better that way. I miss my guest room and my dining room table. I miss my dog door, garage, and yard. I also miss the leisure life of being a house wife. I miss going to the gym in the morning and being able to take my time and not have to rush off to work. I miss having time to quilt and blog in the mornings before work. I miss having the flexible schedule so I could do my visiting teaching before work. I miss not going to work till noon. I miss working in the studio in Mid-town and being able to walk to all those great places to eat. I loved being a house wife. I was good at it.  And some day I look forward to being a house wife again. 

There are many seasons to life. There is the planting, watering, fertilizing and harvesting. I really feel like at times I have paid my dues in triplicate. I have sown many good seeds over the years, I have watered my crops, I have fertilized, and now it is finally my time to harvest. I think back to the story of the Chinese Bamboo: There is this particular breed of Chinese Bamboo plant that you need to water and fertilizing it for 4 years. During that time they won’t see any growth above the soil. For those 4 years the plant is building a sophisticated root system below ground. Then in the 5^th year the Chinese Bamboo plant may grow up to 80 feet. (If this is an analogy to my life. Then those 4 years of watering and fertilizing would interpret to years of abuse, both physical and mental and over a decade battling mental illness. It took me many years to walk away from the abuse, but I finally have. I am happy to say that I finally got the strength to live on my own. As for the battle with mental illness, well that will always be a battle for me. At times it will a full out war with machine guns, bombs, and air raids and other times it will be simple hand to hand combat and other times it may be just drills in preparation for the next big battle. Today I am doing drilling for the next, I can't say what tomorrow will bring.)

As for this being the season of Harvest for me. I have to say I have been so blessed. I have a wonderful little apartment that I can call home. I have a job that provides me with enough income to live comfortably on my own.  My boss lets me use his netflix account at work so I can watch movies while I work. I love not having a set time when I have to get to work. I love having my stair stepper in my living room and love watching tv as I stair step. I love all the friends I have made since I became single. I love all the activities I have available to me now that I am single.  I love my new ward. I love the flexibility of my job, that I am going to be able to do all the traveling that I have been dreaming of. I love that I don't have to work my vacation time around other people's schedule. I love being independent and not having to account to anyone as how I spend my money. I love that my parents taught me to be frugal so I am able to live on my own. I love it that I am an only child and my parents let me swap cars when ever I want. I love that my parents got a new amazing sewing machine last year and I'm using it. I love that I took quilting classes last year and have the know how to quit. 

I am so blessed.

Day 27-Why you are doing this 30 day challenge

I saw it on my girlfriend's blog and it looked like fun. Allergy season is also killing my motivation to blog so I thought this would also give me some motivation to blog. It is taking me much longer then 30 days to complete, but it has been successful. People have learned things they wouldn't have other wise learned about me if I had blogged on my own and it has kept me blogging during my usual annual allergy sabbatical. Hopefully when these 30 days are up the worst of allergy season will be over and I will be back to my daily blogging. Actually since I'm working more hours at work and trying to keep a more balanced life I may have to switch to weekly blog posts. We'll see what happens. I still have tons to say, but between lack of motivation to blog and time not a whole lot has gotten said lately. 

Day 26-What do you think about your friends?

I think my friends are truly amazing. I can't ask for better friends. My friends support me and love me like no others. I can't live with out them.

It is amazing how God directs our lives so just the right people will enter our lives when we need them.

Sometimes I question why I am "here," where ever here may be, but then I realize that I made the right choices because if I had not been "here" I wouldn't have met the people I have met and they wouldn't have touched my life the way they have.

Just the other day I ran into a friend of mine and wow, in the brief conversation we had I was overwhelmed with thankfulness that they are my friend.  It is amazing how people can say just the right things that you need to hear when they are in-tuned to the spirit.

Sometimes I get sad when a friends drift away, but I am learning that it's ok, they came into my life to do what needed to be done and after that job is done it is time to leave. I guess I can think of it like the guy who came over to fix my washer.  After the washer was fixed he left and I was happy he left, it would have been awkward if he had stayed. I can store a hammer in my tool checks, but you can't really store a whole person in the tool chest, even thought it would be nice, but the thing is with my luck the washer wouldn't break down again, but instead it would be my car and he wouldn't be much help if all he can do is fix washing machines. Thinking about it in this way helps me to understand it better.  I don't love these friends any less now that they are gone, I will be forever grateful for all they did for me. I may mourn their loss for a little while and once I am done I will move on. I am not the person I was when they walked into my life and neither are they. We have both moved on to greener pastures and that is ok. Neither place is better it is just different.

Day 25-What I would find in your bag

Wallet
Cell Phone
Vaseline Lip Therapy
Wintergreen Breath Savers
No-Aspirin Pain Reliever

Day 24-A letter to your parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for all you have taught me.  I am who I am because of you. Thank you for loving me and doing all you can to make me happy. Thank you for giving me the best life you know how.  Thank you for bringing me up on healthy foods so even when I’m not at home I desire to eat food that is good for me.  Instilling in me the importance of a good education and paying for my college.  Thank you for being an example to me in serving others and in turn I have gained a love for serving others. Thank you for instilling in me a love for reading and not a love for being a couch potato. 

Below are just a few things that you have taught me that I am thankful for:

Teaching me how to cover up nail holes with toothpaste.

Teaching me how to fix a clogged drain and leaky faucet.

Teaching me how to budget my money and how to live with in my means.

Teaching me how to be frugal and be a smart shopper.

Teaching me how to drive a car and ride a bike.

Teaching me how to cook and how to substitute what we have on hand.

Teaching me how to thread a needle and how to sew.

Teaching me how to be resourceful when fixing things around the house.

Teaching me how to how to balance a checkbook.

Teaching me how to care for a home.

I am who I am because of you.

Love,

Your Daughter.

Day 23-Something you crave for a lot

A nap

I know you were probably hoping to hear about a certain food and there are some foods that I love and sometimes have strong cravings. But lately due to my allergies I spend most of my days tired. I wake up most days completely exhausted and go to bed exhausted. During the day I get so sleepy that I wish I was a kid again just so I would have a daily scheduled nap time.