Day 6-Favorite Superhero and Why

I'm not much of a cartoon fan or super hero fan.  So this is a hard one to choose. I looked up Superhero on Wikipedia and they defined A superhero is a type of stock character possessing "extraordinary or superhuman powers" and dedicated to protecting the public.


After great thought I came up with Elastigirl from the movie The Incredibles. I liked the movie and her character. In addition think she's really hot. I wanted to be her for halloween, but decided I couldn't pull off the costume. 

Day 5-A picture of somewhere you've been

For Father's Day 2010 I took my dad to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
This was my first time there. We stayed the night in Monterey and took the 17 mile drive.
These pictures were taken on the drive.

Day 4-A habit that you wish you didn't have

The first habit that popped into my head is sarcasm. I've been trying to kick it for years, but am failing miserably. I haven't given up. I'm still working on it. I'm a work in progress.

Day 3-A picture of you and your New friends

ARB Friends

New Mid-Single Friends

My 1st Friend in the Mid-Singles Group.

Reno Friends

There are two posts for friends, so I though I'd divide it up. 

This post includes friends that I have made since I became single.

If you don't see yourself pictured it is not because I don't value your friendship it's because I don't have a picture of us on my laptop.

Please know that I still love you and value your friendship.

Day 2-The meaning behind your Blog name

Life is like the game telephone, depending on who tells the story it will be skewed one way or the other. Thus this blog is all about life from my perspective. The characters in my blog may or may not tell the story as I see it, but that is ok. If they saw things play out differently they are more then welcome to have their own blog and tell their own story. This blog is all about me and my life. So if it offends you then you have the right to not read it. On the other hand if you find it helpful and inspiring feel free to pass it along as I'd love to touch as many people as possible. I may not have all the answers to life, but I know I am not alone in my experiences, thought and feelings. I have also come to know that I can't do it all on my own. I depend on my friends and family's support.  Many of my friends and family live far away so it is up to me to keep then abreast of what is going on in my life. In the past I have kept things bottled up inside. Now I am slowly sharing with others via my blog and am overwhelmed by all the love and support I have gotten from friends and family. I had no idea that so many people could relate to me or cared about me. Thank you. I know it is up to me to keep you in my life as no one can read minds. I am sorry for shutting so many of you out in the past and I hope never to do that again. I can't make any promises, but I will do my best. Thanks again.

P.S. I know that the web address for my blog is spelled wrong. When I first choose the name I didn't realize this as it was a type-o. When I did realize it I tried to get the get the correct spelling, but the name was already taken. By then I had become attached to the name so I kept it misspelling and all.  So, just be aware if you go to lifeaccordingtome you will get to someone else's blog.

30 Day Challenge!

My girlfriend is doing this and it looked like fun so I thought I'd play along.


Each day of the month, write a blog post according to these guidelines below:

Day 1-Recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 2-The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 3-A picture of you and your New friends
Day 4-A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 5-A picture of somewhere you've been
Day 6-Favorite super hero and why
Day 7-A picture of someone that has the biggest impact on you
Day 8-Goals/things to accomplish in the next 30 days or less
Day 9-Something you're proud of in the past few days
Day 10-Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, hyped
Day 11-A picture of you and friends you have had over 10 years
Day 12-How you found out about blogger and why you have one
Day 13-A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14-A picture of you and your family
Day 15-Put your ipod or shuffle on-first 10 songs that play
Day 16-Another picture of yourself
Day 17-Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18-Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19-Nicknames you have and why you have them
Day 20-Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
Day 21-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22-What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23-Something you crave for a lot
Day 24-A letter to your parents
Day 25-What I would find in your bag
Day 26-What do you think about your friends
Day 27-Why you are doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28-A picture of you from last year and now-how have you changed?
Day 29-In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30-Your favorite song

Day 1-Recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1.  I'm trying to jump out of my comfort zone this year and try new things. So, far all of my firsts ahve been lots of fun.  I played laser tag, went go-cart racing, and sledded down a giant hill all for the first time. Above is a picture of me playing laser tag for the second time. I loved it so we played two days in a row.

2. I don't like roller coasters, but I plan on going sky diving this summer

3. I don't like chick flicks or any movies that make you sad. I like action, adventure, and detective shows.

4. I'm such a girl when it comes craft. I love crafts, sewing, quilting, and all that fun girly stuff.

5. I'm not afraid to get dirty and fix things around the house. I have installed a drip system, ceiling fans, and landscaped my yard many times. 

6. I have a Bachelors Degree and spent most of my time in Corporate America as an Office Manager and Human Resources Assistant. I used to work in SF and had a beautiful office with a huge picture window that over looked Market Street.

7. I love working out in the gym. I used to be into body building. When I'm in my 50's I want to compete in Body Building.

8. I have been on over 10 cruises.

9. I want to be a famous author.

10. I have awesome friends. Most of them live far far away, but they are there when I need them and are a huge strength and support in my life.

11. I have a very hard time opening up and making friends and I wish I had more local girlfriends that I  can do things with.

12. I am a very sensible logical person. On the other hand my logic is probably not your logic. 

13. I like to be prepared to so I can be spontaneous with out any negative fall out. You will either love me for it or hate me for it. I am a ton of fun and life is never dull if you hang around me.

14. I am beyond frugal in some areas so I can splurge in others.

15. I am a dreamer and a realist. 

Not quite measuring up.

My boss is 77 and is his health is rapidly deteriorating. He stopped driving last August. His memory is going and he has a hard time articulating what he wants. I try to be understanding as I know he is very frustrated with himself. What makes it so bad is he expects me to understands what he wants and to read his mind.  Unless I can do that there is no way I’m getting a raise.  As much as I hate discussing pay I have brought it up several times. At first he agreed to give me a raise then changed his mind and said before I do so I need to be more like Rita. I need to be able to read his mind like Rita did. Rita was his secretary when he had his construction business around 20 years ago. There is just no way I can compete with his memory of her.  Was she that great? I’ll never know, but what matters is he thought she was that great. It doesn’t matter that the business is different or he is different now he expects me to be her and I can’t. It is times like this that I wonder why I keep my job. I keep my job because I know that finding a new job will be difficult. For now I have a sort of steady income and I am able to sort of support my self. If I find another job who knows how long it will last. I don’t want to regret giving up a good job and living with regret.   With my life being as chaotic and stressful as it has been lately I really don’t want to create any undue stress. I look at my mom who has the same if not more qualifications then I have and she’s been in and out of jobs since 2008. Soon as she finds one and gets settled in it seems like she gets let go.  There is no way I could survive with out a steady income for that long.  I also refuse to move back home with Mom and Dad.

I had this great idea in 2009 that I was going to write this book and sell it and live off of the proceeds, but that hasn’t happened. The book still has a long way to go. I keep putting it off along with joining a gym.

I just read a blog by one of my fellow bloggers and came across this post Click here to read it. This kind of sums up why I keep my job. It's all because Money Does Matter. I know money does not buy happiness, but it does as my fellow blogger put it provides for a full tummy and warm and dry place to lay your head at night.  My career isn't turing out like I planned, but at least I don't have to worry about being hungry or homeless. In addition my job does provide me with flexibility, which has it's pros and cons.  The pro was I was able to leave last week at a moments notice to see my dad while he was in the hospital and was able to spend a week at my parents house with out any worry that I'd loose my job.

So here I am working in a dead in job and never quite living up to my boss’s expectations. When I do something well I get great praise and feel like a success and then there are times like these that I feel like a complete failure.

Will Marriage = Loneliness

I never imagined being single would be so much fun.  By my becoming a facebook user and adding just the right people my social life has really blossomed. I went from being married and unable to find friends to being single and having people inviting me to different events all the time. I’m loving it. The only problem with this is I’m afraid that if I get married I’ll go back to a life of isolation.  When we got married we moved and I left the few friends I had behind.  Even if we stayed things wouldn’t have been much different. The few friends I had moved or they were at different points in their life, getting married, having kids, etc that they no longer had time for me.  

When we moved I tried making friends at work, but that didn’t go well. As hard as I tried I just wasn’t able to connect with anyone there. Then I tried making friends at church, but it seemed everyone was too busy working, taking care of their kids, or just not interested. The couples that didn’t have kids already had a core group of friends and weren’t looking to make new friends or they were both working so much that when they finally got off work they were just happy to spend time alone together.  

The truth is even now I don’t have a lot of real close friends that are local that I do stuff with. I’m slow to let people into my life as I don’t want to be part of gossip and the drama that goes on in tight knit groups, thus I tend to keep people at arm’s length.  In turn I end up with a lot of acquaintances and not many “friends.” Most of the invites to do stuff are generic face book event posts for the Singles or Mid-singles groups I’m a part of.  Which is fine by me as there are plenty of them and they are lots of fun.  In addition I’m not much of a planner or initiator so I don’t get groups together. 

My concern is when I get married I won’t be allowed to come to these events and then what will I do? Hanging out with your best friend is fun, but I need more then that. How will we find other couples to do things with? Will I be able to find local girlfriends that want to get together with me, who have time and are willing to make the time for me?

Waving the White Flag

I really didn’t think much of Valentines Day this year.  To me it was just another Monday. I was going to follow my usual routine go to work, go to my girlfriend’s house for dinner and then go to a church activity.

But, for some reason as the day progressed and the longer I sat alone at my desk the more depressed I got. It hit me that this was the first time in 7 years that I have a desk and an office that I come to everyday.  I know that sounds strange, but for the past 7 years I’ve been working part time doing odd jobs. Prior to that I worked in Corporate America as an Office Manager, where I had my own office and for Valentines Day I always had flowers delivered to me.  It was a novelty that I loved.  What girl doesn’t love having flowers delivered to her.   Those were the days. I miss that life. I miss working in the City, having the huge office looking onto Market Street.  I miss having business cards with my name on it, walking down town for lunch, shopping at stores where they wait on you, working out in the fancy gym 2 floors below my office.  At the same time I don’t miss the stress and that is why I gave it up, but on Valentines Day and when I realize that I make nothing and am now living from paycheck to paycheck is when I miss that life.

I didn’t really didn’t expect a delivery of flowers on Valentines Day, but in a way I kind of did. Call me a dreamer if you may, but I’d much rather be a hopeful romantic then a hopeless one.   Not only did flowers not arrive. I also knew that when I got home there wouldn’t be any chocolate covered strawberries waiting for me.  Another harsh reality that my old life is over.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my new life for my old life, but there are some things that were pretty sweet about my old life and getting a whole tray of hand made chocolate covered strawberries was one of them. I love them when the chocolate is still soft. I’m not too fond of the commercially made ones, the chocolate is all crunchy and falls off the berries when you bite into them.

This really caught me off guard, as I am the one that chose to not keep my Valentine of 9 years. It’s hard to believe that I had the same Valentine for nearly a decade, no wonder I’m so set in my ways. I had gotten used to the traditions we had established. The chocolate covered strawberries and bouquet of flowers every year. It no longer was a romantic gesture, but a tradition of sorts. Something you don’t really give a whole lot of thought to, but you do automatically.   So, much so that he followed the same tradition this year and made his new Valentine chocolate covered strawberries.  I hope she enjoyed them as much as I did. I am not jealous or upset as I in no way want him back, but I’m just a little sadden that I’m having such a hard time adjusting to my new life.

The disappointment of Valentines Day just tipped the scale.  My inability to adjust and adapt to my new life has been slowly coming to a head. I was in a meeting on Sunday when I burst into tears. It was then that I realized that I’m totally stuck in my ways and creating stress in my life because I refuse to make adjustments in my life.

I met with the Relief Society President to talk about my Visiting Teaching last night. When I got my Visiting Teaching route in Jan I was so excited. I love Visiting Teaching. I have a real testimony of it.  I was one of those people who used to do it faithfully every month. For the past 7 years I have worked part time and would do my Visiting Teaching in the morning before I went off to work. It was wonderful. I loved our visits and looked forward to them.  I loved the women I visit taught.  Well, now that I’m working full time, Visiting Teaching just isn’t fitting in. I now have to be to work at 8 am to get all my hours in for the week.  For the past month I keep thinking that next week will be different. Maybe I can visit them at 8 or 9 and then go to work, but the reality is I really need the hours. I hate this part of my new life. I hate having to count the hours I work and this whole concept of living paycheck to paycheck is killing me. This is something I’ve never done before and I just don’t like it.  I know I can always visit them at night after work, but I am just don’t want to. For one I never know when I’m getting off, other then it will be after 6pm, but the other thing is I am just set on wanting to do it during the day. And I just can’t figure out how to change my way of thinking to think that it’s ok to go after work.   

This whole working from 8-6 is killing me. It’s a combination of long hours and early hours.  For years I worked part time and mostly evenings so getting up and having to be to work at 8am is a while new thing for me. The last time I had to be at work at 8 was back in my Corporate America days 8 years ago.

Over the past 7 years I had gotten into a routine of getting up leisurely in the morning, exercising; then: sewing, blogging, writing, cooking, cleaning, gardening, taking the dogs for a walk, rollerblading, etc, then going off to work around noon.  To add to it when my boss was on vacation or out of town I would also take the time off. I also worked from home a lot. Now he wants me to work at the office, which is good. It gets me out of my PJ’s and gives me somewhere to go everyday.

This leads to my exercise dilemma.  I was really hoping to join a gym, but I just haven’t figured out when I’m going to go. So far I have a stair stepper in my apartment and I’ve been trying to use that in the morning before work, but that just isn’t working. I’m just not motivated to get out of bed earlier enough and when I do get my butt out of bed early enough.  Last week I tried something different. I tried to get on the stair stepper after work. That sort of works, but the problem with that is I’m trying to have a social life so I have things scheduled after work. It’s a total catch-22.  

My other dilemma is cooking, eating and grocery shopping.  I may have been fed up due to my ex’s analness when it came to food.  Food was a big issue in the end of our marriage. Everything was hunky dory in the beginning. I was the main cook and he loved my cooking. Then my boss got diagnosed with pre-diabetes and I did tons of research on that and started cooking more diabetic friendly meals as I started bringing them to work to share with my boss. At this time my ex just had a hernia operation and was home from work. During his time off he exclusively ate my cooking, lost a ton of weight. He started going to the gym and became really fit.  The bad thing is he became over zealous and took healthy eating to an extreme and would give me dirty looks if I strayed from his diet, but the good thing is he ran me out of the kitchen. Which has it’s pros and cons. It did annoy me, but how can really complain when you aren’t allowed to cook. 

After being kicked out of the kitchen for so long, it’s been hard for me to get back into the swing of things. I feel like one of those bachelors that I used to totally laugh at.  My fridge is totally empty with the exception of condiments.  It’s not like I don’t have any food in the house. My cupboards are chuck full of food and my freezer has food.  Last month I did some cooking and froze many individually portion meals.  But, overall eating, making time or having the motivation to cook and shop for food just hasn’t been there.

To add to my gloom and doom of my life I got my application returned to me in the mail yesterday for the Energy Assistance program.  It took me 5 months to apply for it as I hate asking for help and I got my paperwork kicked back. Apparently I need more proof that I don’t make anything. Well then I read that I could turn in my taxes so I called my ex and asked him if I could submit my own taxes this yr instead of doing it joint as I had agreed to on our settlement agreement. He said yes, which was nice of him, but then I realized that still wouldn’t help because I need 2009 taxes not 2010. Great, now I have to do my own taxes. That just sent me into a burst of tears, because the whole reason I wanted to file jointly was so I wouldn’t have to pay the self-employment tax, but he’d pay it for me.   Well, now I have to file my own taxes, pay an unseen amount in taxes and I still don’t have the proof I need to qualify for the program.  Last night just wasn’t my night.  Well after spending a good three hours crying and feeling sorry for myself. I finally held up the white flag and surrendered. I hate asking for help, but I'm at the end of my rope. I e-mailed my girlfriend that is a tax preparer and asked her for her help with my taxes. Hopefully she can figure out how I can get out of paying taxes and/or we can figure out a way to get my boss to pay for it.  I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m going over to her house tomorrow morning so I know the facts and stop stressing about the unknown.

Feel free to call me stubborn and set in my ways, because apparently that’s me.   I’m working on changing my way of thinking and I thank my friends that are helping me with it.  Thanks to all of you that keep me laughing and distracting me from having a pity party. I, like many hate change, but I know it’s necessary.  I will be happier when I do. So, I ask of my friends to be patient and to stick with me. It’s not going to be an overnight transformation that I had hoped for, but with time I will evolve. And when that happens I know I will be a much happier person.  The thing is I’m a very logical person and I got the theory down, but putting it into practice seems to be the challenge. I seem to be stumped at time. For some reason everything is so much easier said then done, so please stick with me, I’ll get it one day.  I’m hoping sooner then later.

End Note: Just in case you were wondering. Valentines ended well.  At the end of the day a friend of mine asked me out and we had an amazing date.  He got me to forgot about all my worries for the day.  When I showed up to work the next day I was surprised to remember that before I left work the previous day I was totally stressed. I’m happy to say I solved the mystery to my problem in minutes the following day.

I want it animal style.

Love is so frustrating at times. For years I did my best to avoid rejection by not going after guys unless they first showed interest in me. This yielded many dates and later many relationships. I am pretty, fun, and there is always a plethora of guys on my doorstep. Thus said if I were one of those people that had to be in a relationship all the time I could easily be in one now. The thing is I am not the same girl I used to be. I no longer want to order off the printed menu. I want to order off the secret menu. I am done with eating plain boring hamburger. I want it animal style.

I wish I could say my new dating strategy is working, but that is far from true. I really wish I could hire Hitch and he could hand me the right broomstick because I am tired of falling flat on my face. For some unknown reason the guys I’m interested in just can’t seem to realize that I’m the perfect girl for them.

I have to say not all is lost. My hunt has yielded fun, adventure, and laughter. Stepping out of my comfort zone has resulted in spontaneous trips, crazy stunts, unexpected run-ins, and lots of stories that will go down in history.

You may call me crazy for continuing to put myself out there after all I’ve been though. You’re right I am crazy. I’m crazy for love. I have to say I don’t recall ever having my heart broken so many times in such a short time. The thing is as much as it hurts to have your broken heart it is worth it to feel. I’d much rather suffer from a broken heart then to lock my heart up and never have the chance to fall in love. Falling in love and being in love is such a wonderful feeling that the pain of a little heart break is worth it.

I know if I continue to put my heart on the line some day someone will treasure it. I have faith in God that if I follow his commandments and his promptings I will be led to the right place at the right time where I will come across the love of my life. He will sweep me off my feet and shower me with love.

I refuse to say “all the good ones are taken," And if for some strange reason that is the case I am willing to wait till he become available again and I'm willing to fight for love. I didn’t realize my self worth before, but now I know I have lots to offer and I am worth fighting for. Thus said I am going to be with an equally amazing man who is also worth fighting for. We’re going to have this amazing spiritual connection, we’re best friends, we find each other totally irresistible, and we are deliriously happy together. Neither of us is going to be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. In addition our lives won’t be easy, but together we’re able to conquer any trial we are faced.

I know I’m over the top at times and that is one of the things he’s going to love about me. My enthusiasm and spontaneity is what is going to set me aside from all the other women he has ever dated. He is going to love that not two days will ever be the same. And that everything I do is because I love him. To him I will be the perfect housewife and the lover on the side all wrapped into one. I am every man’s dream come true.

Valentines Day vs. Single Awareness Day

Valentines is almost upon us and many of my single friends are sneering upon the day.  They refer to it as “Single Awareness Day.”  I see no reason to sit at home and have a pity party for myself on or around Valentines Day. It is my choice to be single at this time, thus I am going to enjoy this season of my life to the fullest. I’m enjoying the fun festivities that this holiday brings. I went to Reno last weekend to indulge in a Chocolate Dipping party. I love chocolate fountains. My favorite thing to dip in them is strawberries. So, when they said bring whatever you want to dip I brought two packages of strawberries, just to make sure there would be plenty. 

I’m really looking forward to going to the Valentines Dance this Friday. I finally found the perfect little red dress.  For years I've been searching for a red dress and it's been a real challenge. For those of us that are short and petite the clothing pickings are really slim. I also found the perfect Valentines Day stockings and comfy red shoes to match.  So, I'm all ready to go for Friday. Now all I need are a few dance partners. So all of you eligible bachelors stand up and sign my dance card.

Most of us will spend most of our lives married so we might as well take advantage of this time when we are single and enjoy having as many Valentines as we can have. There are so many men to choose from, why just settle for one? Why not have a different one every day of the week? I’m single, which means I get to choose who I spend Valentines Day with along with how many Valentines I get to have.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to be in a relationship right now with the man of my dreams. The guy that I'm totally head over heels in love with, who I think it totally drop dead gorgeous, and makes my heart skip a beat when ever I am with him.  Some day soon I hope he will realize how perfect we are for each other. Till then I'm going to do what I can to enjoy this season of my life.  

How many Toads do I need to kiss to find Prince Charming?

February is just around the corner and that means that Valentines Day is almost upon us.  Months prior to the New Year’s Eve Dance there was talk about who was going to score that coveted New Year’s Eve kiss.  What does Valentines have in store? The mistletoe has been put away so there won’t be any free kisses being given away. What do us single folks have to look forward to? Will cupid be out shooting arrows? If so we’d better hope prince charming is in attendance so we don’t end up with a Toad.  On the other hand maybe that Toad is really our Prince Charming.  We just don’t know it yet.  How often is that just the case? I remember going dress shopping with my Mom and she said for me to try on every dress even if I didn’t like it, I might be happily surprised at how it looked. To my shock Mom was right. The styles that I liked weren’t very flattering and the ones that I rolled my eyes at looked amazing on me.  Could it be possible that those Toads are really our Prince Charming and Cinderella?  If so we’d better stop rolling our eyes and giving them the “cold-shoulder.”   

If we have ever had our hearts broken we now know that who we though was our Prince Charming or Cinderella really wasn’t.  I for one am a master of bad judgment. I think I have dated ever scumbag and every “Tool” out there. Many times I thought I found my Prince Charming and to my dismay he broke my heart.

If the Toads are really my Prince Charming in disguise I want to know many Toads do I need to smooch to find my Prince Charming? And we all thought fairly tales were just a myth.

While we are on the subject of smooching according to Hitch "Eight out of Ten women believe that the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship.”  If this is true maybe I should just have all the Toads line up.  I’m not one to freely give out kisses, but if that is all it takes I might just do it to save myself from a lot of heart ache.

Ladies how true is this statement? Does the first kiss really tell you something? If so what does it tell you? The only thing I have determined from the first kiss is either he is a really good kisser and I want more or he is really lousy.

No one wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!"

I’m not one to quote movies.  On the other hand I’m always interested in great discussions especially with people that will help me see things in a new light and assist me in looking outside the box.  Hitch is one of those Movies that really got me thinking and looking outside the box.  Below is a long quote from Hitch that has many good points. The parts in parentheses and in italics are my two cents.

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~ Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now."

(The line that I have most recently heard is, “I’m still recovering from a broken heart.” This is a tricky one because you don’t want to be the rebound relationship, on the other hand she/he may just not know you well enough and is going to milk that line for all it’s worth. I can give the very same line, but that line is just as legit as I’m just really busy with work and stuff.)

You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," ……Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you yet...

(Did you catch that, she doesn’t even know you. I blogged about this last week. For, you it may be love at first sight, but for me I need some more time. Give me a chance to get to know you. I think guys use these lines for the same reason, they just don’t know me well enough to really know if they are interested in me so to play it safe they give me a line. Click her to read that blog post.)

Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.~

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I think the same goes for Men. I’m pretty sure my dream guy doesn’t know right now that I’m his dream girl. It won’t be till he sees me and has spent time with me that he’ll finally figure it out.  So, all I need to do be at the right place at the right time and everything will fall into place.  When I’m in his arms the light bulb will go on and he’ll finally realize that I am exactly what he has always dreamed of.  It may take some time for him to realize this or for me to realize he is my dream guy.

Sometimes we have instant connections with people and other times those connections build over time. I think it all depends on what we have going on in our lives. When I’m preoccupied with work, money, sick friends, etc I may not feel any connection with someone due to I’m on autopilot. I’m physically there but my mind is elsewhere.  Thus it may take several encounters or dates for us to make a connection. I have seen this with people I have dated and friends I have.  Some friends I have had for years, but it’s been a superficial relationship. It wasn’t till someone said something that we created this connection and our friendship blossomed and become deeper then just associates.  My blog has really helped me connect with people on a different level.  It amazes me how similar many of our lives are especially since from the outside everyone appears so different. The same has also happened with people I have dated. They seem nice enough so I go out with them, but I feel absolutely no connection. Then several dates later we finally find some common ground and a connection forms. If I had just written them off after the first date we wouldn’t have realized how amazing each other is.

How to Insult a Woman

Life isn’t all peaches and cream, but it’s so much more fun talking about the good times.  When we talk about happy times it just puts us in a good mood. At least that is how it works for me. If I talk about all the stuff that just isn’t going right in my life it really brings me down. And if there isn’t anything I can do about it then I see no point of talking about it and dwelling on it. Thus unless something is really bugging me I’d rather blog about the amazing parts of my life.  By doing this it reminds me of how blessed I am and helps me from just sitting around and having a pity party for myself, because there is plenty I can complain about.

Just to show you that my life isn’t all peaches and cream I thought I’d share some of the lines men have fed me recently.  For those men who are reading this, I share this with you as a public service as things not to say to women you are hoping to woo.  And to those girls that want to date any of my discards go right ahead.  Some girls get jealous if you date their ex's but not me. I'll even be happy to hook you two up.

Quotes from my weekend in Vegas:

Out of nowhere he tells me (in reference to an old facebook profile picture)  “this isn’t my favorite picture of you. You have much better pictures.”  Um, ok. My thought is why are you brining this up now? Since he brought it up I figured I would tell him the history behind it and why I posted it.  I explained to him that everyone was posting Christmas pictures so I wanted to join in. In addition I had made a comment on my Facebook wall that I was taking my puppy home for Christmas so I wanted to show her off.  Especially since few know I own a dog.

He goes on to say “you look like you just woke up in that picture. “ Why would anyone say that? I tell him that that the picture was taken Christmas Eve. You’d think he’d stop there, but he goes on.“You look like you just got up Christmas Morning and were opening presents.  You have your retainer on.” He then proceeds to argue with me that I have my night guard on.  I’m an adult for crying out loud. I know when the picture was taken and I know what I was wearing.   After realizing that it was a loosing battle I quickly change the subject.

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“It’s like you are from another planet.”   How do you respond to that comment? Beam me up Scotty?  Or do you say, you must have read “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” Would you like to discuss it?  But, with the look in his eye, I played it safe and kept my mouth shut.

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“Just stop talking.” When I hear that and see that look in someone’s eye I don’t try explain myself or defend myself I instantly clam up. I am not a mind reader, but there are a few cues I have picked up on over the years and I know when it’s time to be clam up and walk away. I’m not one of those girls that will plead with you to talk about it. If you don’t want to talk things out then I will respect your wishes and will give you space. Sometimes all someone needs is space and time to regroup. That is what I hoped for this weekend, but apparently that was not the case.  There is always a look  a perpetrator makes before he strikes and I didn’t want to be the victim so I walked away. Far away.

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“You must be on drugs.”  Um, what do you say to that? You are one to speak?

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Here are a couple more from 2 other charming men:

“You dress like you shop at K-Mart.”  The sad thing is he really meant it as a compliment. I have no idea who he grew up around because I don’t know a soul that would take this as a compliment.

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“I’ve never known a women to own so many sweaters.” Ok, that wasn’t bad, but he kept bringing up that I wear lots of sweaters. We had discussions about it.  It was like he was hoping if we discussed it I would wear something different. I don’t know if he noticed but, it’s winter and freezing cold. He’s a big guy so maybe he doesn’t get cold, but I’m extremely petite and I’m freezing all the time.  I’m sorry, but I hate it when guys try to dress me. It’s a total turn off.  I dated a guy once that bought me this fluffy fuzzy sweater because he wanted to cuddle me in it. The sweater wasn’t bad but how he presented it was a total turn off, he made me feel like Barbie.  Sorry, guys, but I am not a toy. If I wanted to be a toy I would find me a Sugar Daddy.

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For all of the not so charming men out there I have found some real gems. I will always love the guy that invited me over and when I asked him if I needed to change, due to I was wearing my PJ’s, he said “Never.” His wife will be the luckiest woman in the world.  He knows just what to say.

Epic Weekend

What do bulls eyes, go-cart racing, rollerblading, great food, perfect dates, laughing with friends add up to? You guessed it. An Epic Weekend.

After last weekend I needed to have my faith renewed that taking the day off and traveling out of town was worth it.  My weekend defiantly did that.  In addition it helped me whittle away my bucket list. Let’s start with Bulls Eyes. I’ve wanted to learn to shoot a gun for years now. My dad has guns and enjoys going to the shooting range. Recently I learned that he’s taken my mom. Well, it finally dawned on me that maybe my dad would enjoy taking me to the shooting range. So, for his birthday I suggested it and it was a success. He knew a man who is a retired Police Officer and gives lessons so he set me up with a lesson. It was amazing.  It didn’t make me want to go out and buy a gun, but it was a great experience.  I got to shoot a pistol and an automatic. I like shooting the pistol much better, more accurate and the shells aren’t going to possibly hit me in the head and I don’t have to scrounge around to clean them up after I’m done.  Check out my first target. Pretty good if I say so myself. I think I’ll hang it in my entryway. This way if anyone plans of robbing me they are forewarned that if they have a gun and stand less then 21feet away they will be taken down by me.  Yes, they need to provide their own gun. Why should I carry a gun?

Go-cart racing: I’ve never driven a go-cart before.  It was a lot of fun zooming around the track, but after about 30 minutes I felt quite nauseous.   One of the things on my bucket list was to drive a racecar. I did some research and found a local racetrack that gave lessons. I was all ready to sign up, but now I think I’ll pass. I don’t like feeling nauseous.

Laughing with friends over great food: Friday night I met up with friends for dinner and it was a blast. My girlfriends squeezed by everyone to come sit next to me. It could have just been the two of us having dinner because we laughed the whole time. Everyone probably thought we were crazy, but we were having the time of our lives. It’s wonderful when you meet people and you just click.  I met her at my girlfriends wedding and from the moment we met we were rolling with laughter. You would of though we were old friends the way we were laughing.  If someone can make me laugh like that I instantly love them. 

Perfect Dates: I totally love dating my friends. It is so fun when the two of you feel comfortable enough to not feel like you have dress up, take a shower or you have to plan out this extravert expensive date.  It shows that you are great friends and can just have fun together. You don’t have to worry about what you say; you can talk about taboo subjects, and laugh at the dumbest things. You can just be you and have a perfect time together.  Seriously, who would think tearing out the subfloor of a bathroom would be part of the perfect date.  Or going rollerblading and when you run across the guy that canceled your date because I said it wasn’t love at first sight you can both laugh about it. (I resisted from saying to him "This could have been you, NOT!!!" I'm so glad he bailed because I just know that this date was 10000 times better.)  I have to say it was hilarious cute that we matched too.  Now that was funny and totally unplanned.  These are the times I wish I carried a camera with me because that would have been the cutest picture ever.  I love a man that cooks for me and eats through out the day.  I know you probably think this strange, but I was married to someone that regulated my eating and it drove me nuts. So, when my friends keep me fed I feel like I’m in heaven.  I have low blood sugar so I need to eat ever couple of hours and it’s not always easy and quite awkward if you aren’t both on the same eating schedule.   So I totally love this friend because he is health conscious and eats. Wow, the best of both worlds.

Another Fabulous Date: On Sunday another friend invited me over for dinner. Did I tell you I love having friends that cook for me. I also love playing games and he'll play them with me. Let me tell you about our first date.  It was quite amazing. I had been working on this outfit and I finally got it together right before we were to get together. We had made some other plans, but I was totally excited to wear my outfit so we changed our plans and he took me swing dancing so I could show off my fabulous outfit. Let's just say I was the bell of that ball.  Every heard turned when I walked in and those that came in after me all had to do a double take. I looked that amazing.

I know every weekend can't be Epic, but I'm looking forward to another amazing weekend.  I'm taking next Friday off so I can hook up with yet another amazing friend. It doesn't matter what we end up doing because what ever we do we will be rolling with laughter the whole time. It's just a guarantee. 

Being an only child Rocks

I never thought I’d love being an only child, until this weekend. It finally dawned on me that being an only child has amazing perks. My parents are far from rich, but one thing I know is if I ever need money my parents will always be able to help me out. That is a big relief since I kind of just walked out of my marriage with the shirt on my back in many ways. I used to work in corporate America and did quite well for myself, but quit my job when I got married and haven’t worked for Corporate America since. I have to say I have not taken advantage of my parents’ generosity. I turned my part time job into a full time gig. It’s not like having a “real” job, but it pays the bills and that is what really matters right now.

Another perk of being an only child and having my parent live close by is I can borrow my mom’s clothing. Is that so cool or what? Most recently I borrow her ski bib and boots. I am looking forward to learning how to surf this summer and you won’t believe it, but my mom is a proud owner of a wetsuit that I can borrow.  When I was in high school I wore the dress my mom wore in the Miss Chinatown pageant to my senior ball and have worn it many times since on cruises. Being about the same size of my mom and her never throwing away her clothing is a plus too.  Last year I went to a 70’s party and I wore an amazing outfit including her bell-bottoms and matching suit jacket.

The best perk of all is my Mom let’s me swap cars with her.  Seriously, who could ask for a better deal than this? I’m going up to the snow this weekend and Mom is letting me take her 4wd. I’m totally nervous about driving in the snow, but I am confident that I can do it. After last weekend I know I can do it.  When I first moved into my house I built a huge arbor and borrowed my parents long bed truck. I loved that truck. The 12 ft posts fit in just fine. I truly amaze myself. I built it all by myself, well not 100%. I have to give some credit to my ex. Someone had to hold it in place as I poured the cement in.

I know these things may not be the norm for every only child and it might not have anything to do with being an only child at all. You may be one of seven and still get all these perks. All I’m saying is if I was one of a dozen I might not get all these perks because I may have to fight my siblings for them. So, in a way they may just be perks of having totally awesome parents.  Either way. I have to say my life totally rocks sometimes.

Chemistry

Do you need instant chemistry or can chemistry be built?  I was reading this girl’s blog and she said “I know myself well-enough that I don't build chemistry with someone, it has to be there from the start.” (Click here to view her blog) This got me thinking. I am not a believer of “love at first sight,” so I have been working with the theory that chemistry can be built. I’ve been dating a lot and as much as I have tried the chemistry is not building. These are really nice guys and on paper they seem perfect for me, but I’m just not feeling the chemistry. After existing a chemistry-less relationship I vowed this time that prior to entering into a committed relationship I must be head over heels in love.

You may be wondering why don’t I believe in love at first sight. The reason is because it never seems to work for me. Those people I have felt instant chemistry with have never wanted to inter in a relationship with me. This isn’t just recently it’s the story of my life. After suffering several broken hearts I have kind of given up on every getting that. So I changed my dating approach and have been sticking to dating those people that flirt back with me that seem nice and hope that overtime that chemistry will happen.  So far things haven’t panned out with this theory.

I watched the move Hitch yesterday and he said: “…any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”  Maybe my fellow blogger is right, there needs to be some chemistry from the start.  Thus said maybe I should go back to seeking after those that I feel instant chemistry with. To make this a success I just need to find the “right broom.”  How do I find the “right broom?”

“The Talk”

Don’t we all dread “The Talk?”  It’s awkward, unpleasant and never seems to yield positive results.  How do you really preface it? “We really need to talk?” Hearing those words will make anyone cringe.  There is no way to preface it to lighten the blow.

I don’t know what it is these days, is there something in the water?  Is it due to the age range of guys that I am seeing and they feel their biological clocks ticking? But every guy I know seems to want to have “the talk.”  What happened to playing coy?  Why is it that guys are so quick to lay all the cards on the table? Why must we determine the relationship so early on?  I know that playing coy too long isn’t good either.  Years later I have found out that there were numerous guys that have liked me over the years, but I never knew they were interested. Some of these guys I really liked, but by their actions I thought they weren’t interested.  If you find me attractive and are interested in me make your intentions knows, flirt a little. I won’t be single for long. You don’t want to spend your life kicking yourself because you were a day late and a dollar short. It would really stink to find out that the guy I hook up with is no better then you, he just got to me first. At the same time if you drop to one knee before our first date you are likely to send me running because I don’t move quite that fast.

“The talk” has manifested itself in many forms. Here are just a few lines of things I have been told: “I’ve always had a crush on you, but you were married. Now that you are single…,” “I just wanted to let you know that I’m interested in you more then a friend,” “I felt a connection the first time I saw you, did you?,” “I see us as friends,” “I find you totally hot, but I am not interested in you,” “I think you should move in with me,” and last but not least don’t forget the marriage proposals.

Well, thanks for sharing. I feel flattered, a little heart broken, and hopeful.  It’s good to know where you stand, but we haven’t even been on a first date yet.  (And you are laughing, but these are things that guys have told me prior to our first date.)

For you it may have been love at first sight, but I’m sorry I just don’t move that fast. I’m not saying that I won’t fall madly in love with you, but I can’t love someone I don’t even know.

Honestly I can’t tell you how fast is too fast, but I can give you a few helpful tips. It’s a good idea to go on a few dates before you spill the beans. Give her a chance to get to know you. Why don’t we go out on at least a single date if not a few and then I can tell you if I’m remotely interested. The fact of the matter is if I agree to go out with you on a date I am interested in getting to know you and then we can see from there if there is a love connection or not.  

What happens in Vegas….

I just got home from the most amazing weekend in Vegas. It was just as I imagined it.  I flew in Friday Evening after a long day at work to be greeted by my sweetheart at the gate.  He showered me with a dozen long stemmed roses. From there we drove over to the Venetian where we had the most romantic dinner ever along the canal. Then we took a gondola ride and the gondolier serenaded us.  Next we went to see O, The Cirque du Soleil at the Bellagio. It was just as amazing as I imagine it. I fell in love with Cirque du Soleil back in 2002 when I saw them in the Movies and have been dying to see them ever since.  I having the time of my life and didn’t want the evening to end so we next headed over to the Palms and danced to the wee hours of the morning.

Saturday morning we slept in after partying all night long.  We ordered room service and were served a scrumptious meal of French toast smothered with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  After soaking in the giant tub we headed out for a leisurely day on the town.   We strolled up and down the strip hitting all the tourist spots and taking the most amazing pictures.  What would a trip to Vegas be with out getting your picture taken with Elvis and driving through a wedding chapel?!  Well, we did it all. We visited NY NY and rode the roller coaster and took our picture in front of the Statue of Liberty.   We had lunch at a Kosher Deli and I indulged and had a Reuben.  We ended the evening in the most romantic city in the world Paris.  The décor is amazing in there.  I love the clouds on the ceiling and the cobblestone roads and quaint little shops.  We rode up to the top of the Eiffel tower and had dinner in the restaurant.  The atmosphere couldn’t have been more romantic.

If only that is how my trip went. Unfortunately my trip turned out nothing like I expected or ever imagined. It wasn’t like I had totally unrealistic expectations either. I only wanted to do two things while in Vegas: 1. See a Cirque du Soleil show 2. Take some fun and funny pictures that would remind me of the amazing trip.  Unfortunately neither happened.  Even thought many may say it was the “Vacation from Hell” I have to say I’m glad I went. I learned some very valuable lessons.  The most important lesson I learned is I am a strong independent women and I don’t need a man to take care of me.  I truly amazed myself and have to say, my Daddy would be so proud of me. Things went from bad to worse and by Sunday night at Midnight I packed up my stuff and left.  I marched down to the front desk and requested my own room. Unfortunately due to is was a holiday weekend they didn’t have any available rooms. They called up Bally’s and they said they had rooms so I hiked over there. Unfortunately when I got there they were booked too. They called up Paris and sent me over there.  And that is where I resided that night. I have to say the room was amazing.  I’m Miss frugal so I usually check into a Motel 6, so to be in the epitome of luxury I was in heaven. I did shed a few tears on my journey, but as I made my way to my new room I was glowing.   

I would have never imagined my vacation would go this way. That I would be packing up my stuff in the middle of the night and be out looking for a room. And then need to secure my own transportation to the airport. Other then business trips I have never traveled alone. I’ve never not booked a room in advance. So this was a whole new experience for me. I may have been flying solo, but I was far from alone. I had my friend on the phone coaching me the whole way. It’s amazing what technology has done to our society.  You can be in a foreign country vacationing on your own, but you aren’t lonely because all of your friends are a text or phone call away.  I have to say I have one of the most amazing friends ever. Thank you dear friend for staying up with me till 3 am till I got settled in and going dancing with me.  We had an amazing evening together. I was far from alone or trapped. I felt free and independent.  I have to say you are all that and a bag of chips. And those chips taste even better soaking in a giant bubble bath.  Yep, that was me at 3am eating chips in a bubble bath after a night of dancing.  What an amazing evening. My plane didn’t leave till Monday night so I spent the day exploring Vegas. I made my way to NY NY stopped off in their deli and had a Reuben and ate in the quaint streets of NY.  I’m a sucker for good food and cute. I also took my picture in front of the Statue of Liberty. Kind of Cheesy, but I needed a few pictures that said I’m on my own and it’s ok.

I am now confident enough to travel on my own. I will take that trip to Bali that I really want to, but have been too scared to do. And as much as I don’t need a man, I love having one around.  Falling in love is the most wonderful feeling and it is worth the possibilities that it might lead to a broken heart.  So, Bring in to World. I can take anything you dish out.