Revitializing

After a really tough 3 weeks. I hope this weekend is the beginning of a new beginning.  As you know I suffer from PTSD. And I would think with time it would get better, but 3wks ago I suffered a horrific week. I don’t know what set it off exactly. It could have been something I ate that didn’t agree and or it could have been that in combination of my new job, but one thing after another just kept me terrified all week.  The next week was a little better, but then things started going down hill and then this last week was pretty rough.  By Thursday I’d have enough of suffering and we started pulling things back out of my diet and planned a trip to get away for the weekend. 

We spend a relaxing weekend in Bodega Bay.  I was hoping to find a place where I could fall asleep to the crashing of waves, but no such luck. But we were lucky enough to find a room upon arrival as when we called ahead we couldn’t find any place with opening, under $200, or that would let us only stay a single night.  We were in walking distance to the beach and spent some time walking along the beach.  I love beaches, hearing the waves crash, walking in the hard wet sand, and watching surfers. We didn’t see any typical surfers, but we did see Kite Surfers doing jumps and flying thru the air. It was quite a sight.

Being on a special diet is difficult eating out and after looking at several places settled on, “The Tides Wharf Restaurant.” While waiting for our table we noticed some memorabilia on the wall featuring Alfred Hitchcock movie “The Birds.” Later that night we borrowed the movie from the lobby and watched it. It’s an old movie, but it was still very entertaining and we really enjoyed Alford Hitchcock’s into to the movie.

Mason really enjoys kayaking and wants to get one so he’s trying to convince me that it’s a good investment. So he took me on a 4-hour kayak adventure. We started at 8am in the fog. I was afraid I was going to freeze, but I was happily surprised at how warm it was.  The nice thing was we were in a tandem Kayak so we could be together and chat.

The weekend was everything I hoped it would be, with the one exception I wanted to fall asleep to crashing waves.  I am all relaxed, feel good, refreshed, and ready to face tomorrow.  My new revised diet seems to be working wonders, as I am feeling much better.

Things to ponder

Do you live in the USA? Are you proud to be American?

Is Slavery legal in the USA today? Was it legal in the USA?

Do you own a Slave? Did/do any of your relatives/distant relative own slaves?

Are you friends with anyone who is related to someone that has ever owned a slave?

Do some people in the USA have slaves today?

I live in America and am proud to be an American even though slavery used to be legal in the USA.  I do not own a slave and am not currently seeking or have ever had the desire to own a slave. According to family history and census records I cannot locate any family members that owned slaves.

As we are all aware making something illegal doesn’t mean that people won’t still do it. If you keep up with the news you will know that slavery, now called human trafficking is an on going problem in the USA.  Thus, some of you have relatives today that own slaves.

I am personally against slavery, but doesn’t mean that I will condemn you, not be your friends, make fun of you, gossip about you, black list you, or kill you if your relatives used to or currently own slaves.  (In some countries it is still legal to have slaves.) Long time ago in the USA it was acceptable and legal and a way of life.  If you currently live in the USA, own a slave, have helped someone obtain a slave, or are seeking to buy one that is another story.  

I believe that many of you share my same feelings. Then why do some people hate, condemn, taunt, make fun of, bully, etc members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints due to a few of their members “used to” practice Polygamy?

Is Polygamy practiced today by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? NO

Are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints allowed to practice Polygamy today? No, if they do they will be excommunicated from the church.

FYI: If you look up Polygamy in Wikipedia you will learn that many societies practiced and currently practice polygamy.  From what I have read it appears that patriarchs have multiple wives because they want more children and/or to care for widows.

Camping with the Family

After my last experience with a boy I figured this time before I commit to anything I want to see how he interacts with his parents and family over an extended period of time.
(It wasn't till my last experience going with a boy and his family on vacation that I realized how much you can learn about someone in such a short period of time. It was during that vacation that his true nature came out.)

To prevent another disaster I invited myself on Mason's annual family camping trip.  He was a bit nervous as I would be the first girl he's brought along camping.  I was a bit nervous spending so much time with his family, concerned about what I was going to eat, and trapped in the middle of nowhere if things didn't turn out well. His parents were ok with me coming as long as we slept in separate tents.  His Mom was also looking forward to getting to know me better.

Last Tuesday I left my car and the safety of my new home on a 5 day adventure, crossing my fingers that it wouldn't turn out anything like my last camp out or my last vacation with a boy and his family.

I am happy to report it was a success. Mason gave them a heads up on my diet.  Just to be safe I also brought food.  I was very impressed at how his Mom went out of her way to prepare foods I could eat and brought special snacks for me.

We had lots of fun. We took several bike rides, took a 3 hour walk/hike around the lake, went fishing with his Dad, swam in the lake, Kayaked, hunted for wood, and played Rummikub with the family.

When I was a kid Mom and I used to go fishing all of the time and I loved it so I was excited to be able to go fishing again. Sadly I didn't catch anything. Mason on the other hand caught 5 trout. For breakfast one morning his Mom went out of her way to make us breakfast: Trout, eggs, and potatoes.  I'm not a big fish fan, but I am happy to report that it was delicious.  She made us this special breakfast because it brings back fond memories of her first camping trip with Mason's father. He got up early one morning and went fishing with out waking her. Later she woke up to an amazing breakfast of fresh trout. She wanted me to have the same experience with Mason.

A few of his cousins were at the campsite next to us.  It was great meeting more of his family and hanging out with them. I love it that they get together and go camping annually. I love spending time with family.  The only time I get to see my extended family is on Thanksgiving.   I wish we got to spend more time together.

I love playing games and I love that his family loves playing games and it was fun to play Rummikub together every night.

The night before we left his brother Tim and Andrea his sister-in-law arrived. In the morning Mason, Tim, his wife and their Father went fishing while his Mom and I hung out and then we all got back together in the afternoon for lunch. I wish the had arrived sooner or we could stay later so I could spend more time with them.

Skydiving- Father's Day 2012

Father's Day 2012

Many people shower their Dads with ties, gift cards, books, home improvement items, sporting goods, and electronics. I think it's more memorable and fun to do something with my Dad.  In 2009 we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and then wen ton the 17 mile scenic drive.  Last year we went go-cart racing and Dad took me to the shooting range. Both were really memorable times that I will treasure forever. This year was another memorable Father's day as we tried our hand at Skydiving.

We survived the exhilarating experience with out a scar.  I wonder what we can come up with next year. Whatever we decide to do I know it will be a memorable time.

Guinea pig Strikes

Mom came to vist and helped me make gravy I can eat.

It’s been 8 months since I gave up: Gluten grains, Dairy from Cows, Sesame, all grains including Oats and Rice, Hemp, Yeast, Potatoes, Corn, Tapioca, Coffee, etc.  Or any derivative of the food.

Now it’s time to start adding these foods back into my diet, depending on if they agree with me or not.  The sad thing is since I can’t clone myself I personally have to be the guinea pig and test each food to see if I react or not. The theory is I’m supposed to pick a food and try it one day. Then I’m supposed to go back to my regular diet and wait 3 days and see if you have a reaction.  If there is no reaction then when I’m done testing foods I can add the foods back. 

So far I’ve tried Rice (Brown Rice, White Rice, and Rice flour), Corn, and Potatoes (Mashed Potatoes).  From what I’ve found I agree with Rice in the form or Rice and ground as in Rice Flour. I also agree with potatoes in their natural form.  Corn is tricky.  Corn on the cob was a success and so were Fritos.  (We’re having Frito boats camping so I had to give them a try.)  On the other hand we’re not sure about Corn Starch or Corn Syrup.  I had a horrible reaction the weekend of my Cousin’s Graduation and we’re not sure what it was from.  (I was really upset because I was only able to stay for a few minutes for her graduation party.  Other then Thanksgiving I don’t get the chance to see my cousins so this was really an upsetting event.) I have also tried microwave popcorn and that didn’t go well either.  With all the stuff in that we’re not sure what I was reacting to.  Last night I tried some gluten free bread I bought at Raley’s and that was a horrible experience. But due to the bread contained: Potato, Yeast, and Tapioca we’re not sure what I was reacting too.

I know I need to keep testing foods out so it will make it easier to eat with others and give me more options, but it’s emotionally killing me.

I’m to the point of I really hate eating. I wish there was some magic pill I can take that would give me the nourishment I need.

Finally Landed a Job

I should be thrilled that after filling out 150 applications and writing 150 personalized cover letters, 12 interviews, and 5 months later I have finally landed a job.

(If you are wondering why I’m making the career change it’s because on Feb. 10^th 2012, after 6 years with my boss he kindly informed me that he couldn’t afford to keep me on.  So I’ve been scrambling to find a new job ever since.)

I got the formal offer yesterday and promptly informed my boss. I tried to break it to him as nice as possible as I knew he really didn’t want me to go but the economy was against us. I told him, remember back in Feb. when you informed me that you can’t keep me on and I needed to find another job, well, I finally found one.  I was quite shocked when he told me that wasn’t case anymore and it had changed back in March. I responded that he should have told me.

I feel horrible.  I love my job. Yes, it’s a love hate relationship at times, but lately it’s been good. It’s not the best money, I don’t get benefits or paid vacation, but it provides me with enough to live the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to and allows me take time off when needed.  Some may have complained if their boss asked them to take Friday’s off unpaid, but I’ve loved it and I’m going to miss it.  And I was looking forward to going to Thailand in November, but now I’m not sure it that will be possible.

I was hoping for a job with the State, but sadly no such luck.  On the other hand I heard they are getting a 5% pay cut and starting furloughs again so maybe this is a blessing. Instead I’ll be working as a contractor at a local business.  The contract starts on Jun. 29 and goes till mid December.

I begin with 2 weeks of training, which is great. This will be the first company that has ever offered me formal training. But, with that comes a lot of responsibility/pressure. What if I don’t pick it up? I haven’t even started it and I feel totally overwhelmed.  Everyone around me seems confident that I’ll succeed, but I have my doubts.

With friends like you, who needs enemies?

Lake Shasta Caverns

I had a very eventful weekend to say the least.   Notes to Self/World and Lessons learned this weekend:

1. I’m sorry, just doesn’t cut it sometimes. At the same time I’m not one to sit around wasting my energy-hating you, I just won't be spending any of my precious free time with you.  
2. Sometimes it takes a traumatic event for you to realize what is really important.
3. I know this may seem obvious to all you, but some people just don't get the obvious: Getting a dog/person drunk for kicks and giggles is just wrong. And a note to those that do I really hope you are in high school because that is the age your are acting and there is still hope for you.  Most of us do dumb things when we are kids, but the good thing is most of us grow up.
4. Real friends don’t use you for kicks and giggles.
5. When some people get together they act like a pack of dogs and there is no stopping them till it’s too late, so always pack a gun.  (A hose or squirt gun should work. At least it works on dogs.)
6. Stand up for your self and those you love, if not no one will. 

Like I always say, I have more regrets of what I didn’t do and that goes for this weekend. 

And it’s not like I just sat back and watch events unfold. I really did try to be assertive this weekend, but it just wasn’t enough.  Or if we go with the approach that everything happens for a weekend I can say thank you to the guys for being such asses, you really showed your true colors and I’m glad I won’t be wasting any more time with people like you. And thank you for helping me to get something into perspective. As much as Satan wants to pull me down, I’m coming out ahead once again. 

Meet Goal THEN receive reward

Those of you with kids think this is so obvious. And it is, but when it comes to ourselves, sometimes we jump the gun and reward ourselves because we know we will meet our goals.  I found out the hard way.

I’ve been counting down till May 17^th (The Day my divorce was final) for the last 6 months, stressing when the courts returned my paperwork, being frustrated that I had to twist my ex’s arm to get some of the paperwork and waiting and anticipating. I figure to make it not so painful and to help me to focus on the bright side I’d buy myself something from Tiffany’s when it was all over.

3wks before the 17^th I was getting excited as it was almost here. It was also my 1^st weekend since Feb that I wasn’t getting an allergy shot and I was finally feeling good and able to fully enjoy my weekend. This was something to celebrate in itself.

My 1^st stop was to get a massage. Next I got my hair done.  I’ve wanted to get a new perm for a long time, but due to my skin being so sensitive due to the allergy shots I’ve had to put it off.  Next stop was Tiffany’s. I figured I’d take a peek and figure out what I wanted to get.  Trying to be cost efficient I ended up purchasing it then and there due to the store is 45 minutes away and I thought it would be a waste to just drive back 3 wks later to make the purchase.  I had an amazing weekend.

When May 17^th finally rolled around… It didn’t go quite as planned.  It was quite a let down.  Looking back I realize it was a mistake to jump the gun and buy the thing that I’ve been waiting 6 months for.  Maybe if I had I wouldn’t have spent the day (and few days before) focusing on everything I lost.  Instead I would have been looking forward to the day with excitement and enthusiasm as I was finally going to get the Tiffany necklace that I’ve been coveting. And the day of, I would have been able to physically hold in my hand something tangible, something that symbolized all I had overcome, all I had endured and a window into the future of all I have to look forward to.

In hindsight I wish I had taken the day off or at least after work drive to Tiffany’s and gotten the necklace.  This way the day would have ended with me glowing as I reflected upon the amazing person I have become like I did that weekend when I bought it 3 wks earlier.

This is best chalked up to Lesson learned. 

Today is the Day

Today is the day.  It's almost like turing 16, 18, 21, or 30, you think you should feel different, but you don't. In reality it's just another day.

Which is quite frustrating as I've been counting down till today for the last 6 months.  There should be fireworks or something.

The reality is all today is a date that is stamped on a piece of paper that says I am now divorced.  Just because today is here it doesn't mean that I'm going to get back the time wasted, the money I invested, and the wounds just don't go away because the divorce is official. 

The reality is the only thing this little paper dictated was my ability to re-marry.  That is all I have been really been waiting for as I didn't need to wait for the paperwork to revert to my maiden name as I wasn't with Randy long enough to take on his name. 

My marital status didn't need to effect my ability to get out, try new things and make new friends.  And thanks to great friend that made sure I socialized and got out. 

So I'm happy to say that now, there is absolutely nothing stopping me now from moving on with my life.  I am a free women who can do and go anywhere here heart desires. 

Are our schools too liberal?

According to some parents the schools around here are too liberal and thus they either home school them or send them to a charter school.  This made me wonder what are they really referring to when they say the schools are too liberal?  As I don’t have any school-aged kids I don’t have any first hand experience with the local school system.

Growing up I attended public schools and just assumed my kids would too.

I wonder if these parents would say the same thing about the high school I attended.  I was part of JSA (debate team) in high school and the hot topic at the time was legalizing (Medicinal) Marijuana and Euthanasia. Thus we debated it on an intellectual level and the best of them could debate either side and win. But just because we could prove on an intellectual level that Marijuana should be legalized that didn’t mean any of us consumed it.  We were all taught values at home and those are what we stuck to, not what the school taught us. 

Many parents are concerned about their being a gay/lesbian out reach program in the school and this lifestyle being taught in our schools.  Maybe things are different now, but no one really discussed their sexual orientation in school, actually sex wasn’t talked about much between my friends and I.  I felt no pressure to have sex in school.  I recall there being 1 openly gay guy in my high school. He was part of our lunch group, but if I recall correctly we never talked about sexual orientation.  I really don’t think anyone cared.

A recall a couple of my friends tried smoking in high school. My guess is they must have offered one to me as it would be rude not to share, but I never felt pressured.  I was a bit shocked when I saw them light up the first time as I had no idea they smoked, but as fast as it started it quickly faded.

I do recall chatting with this guy in one of my classes, he was going to party that weekend where there would be drinking and he said that I wasn’t invited, as it wasn’t good for me. So, as you can see I was far from pressured to drink. 

Drugs were available at my school too. I was friendly with a couple of the dealers. One of them told funny stories of close encounters with the authorities or how they got away.  The other I met my freshman year. He was in my study skills class. I don’t recall the exact circumstances, but I do recall him dumping out the contents of his backpack out and telling us what everything was used for (mirror, hand cuffs, etc.)  It was quite educational, but that was that. He didn’t offer us drugs.

If this is as liberal as the schools are here then I can work with this.  My feeling is you engrain into your kids values at home then it’s up to them to make their own choices. On the other hand if my kids come home crying from school every day and the curriculum isn’t working for them then maybe I will investigate other possibilities.  In addition there is really no point for me to be worrying about schools. Since I don’t’ have any kids right now that gives me at least 5 years before my first will start kindergarten and at least 14 years before my first with go to high school. A lot can change in that time.  I may move, the curriculum will probably change, the current students will be gone and so will some of the teachers.

Parable of the Tares

My life for the past 12 months can be reflected in the Parable of the Tares (Matthew 13: 24-30)

Satan may try to destroy us, but if we can learn, grow and endure we will rise above all that tries to keep us down.  I am not the same person I was 12 months ago. I did not walk away untarnished, but I did walk away.  And for now that is what matters. I have the ability to start a new chapter in my life. As we close this chapter I want to say that the year was not wasted. 

I don’t know if the below makes up for all that I suffered, but worth the pain or not I did come out of it with the following.

The good stuff that transpired over the past 12 months:

I finally got to visit the Eiffel Tower, a place I’ve wanted to visit for over a decade, but too frugal to go.  I also got to see: Scotland, London (Stonehenge), Paris, France (Eiffel Tower), Switzerland, Italy: Venice, Rome, (Colosseum, Vaticani, Pantheon, Trevi Fountain).

I also got to go to Bali with a little tour group of people I didn’t know and had an amazing time.

I finally learned to Snowboard, something I’ve been yearned to do for years, but too frugal to try and too scared I’d get hurt.

This one might sound strange, but I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. The good is it explains my anxiety and depression and by just changing my diet I can be free of them.   This new diet has been a struggle and expensive for all parties involved, but it’s worth it.

I moved to a little resort, see picture to the left. Sadly I had to part with my stair stepper due to space, but it’s not so bad. I traded it in for membership to a resort. I’ve taken up swimming.  I’m not much of a swimmer, but it’s good exercise no matter how good you are at it and at the same time you feel refreshed and you come out with a great tan.

I predict the next 12 months will be amazing.  I’m really pushing myself to do those things I’ve always wanted to do but too frugal or too scared.  One of my girlfriends keeps reminding me that I need to do these things while I’m still young and able. With that said. I have come to realize that my biggest regrets in life are of the things I never did or said.  So, here I come world, I’m ready to conquer…and accomplish.

First up on the agenda is Sky Diving with Dad.

Go to Vegas to see “O” and a Chippendales show, ride in the gondola at the Venetian and take a really cool picture.

Learn to Surf this summer

Visit Thailand with Julia in Nov.

I’d also like to go on a bike ride in New England. But, I’m afraid of getting injured and not be able to make it to Thailand in Nov. So I think I’ll hold this off till 2013. Click here to check it out.

Happy Mother's Day

My Mom and I May 12, 2012

I am thankful that my mom is in great health and able to travel. I was hoping to go home for the weekend, but sadly was unable to. For the past 2 weeks I've been dealing with either low or plummeting blood sugar.  Which in turn leaves me feeling sick for hours on end. After an analysis of the days I've felt sick we've figured out the main cause and remedy is just lack of food.  I've been on a strict diet since Nov 2012 when I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and other food intolerances. After almost 7 months of sticking to this strict diet I've gotten tired of eating the same foods and have lost interest in eating.  After a return visit to the nutritionist this past Friday I'm happy to report that we're going to began to try reintroducing some foods back into my diet.  First on the list is rice.  Not that I have a love for eating plain white rice, but as I have lived on this strict diet I have come to realize that rice, or a derivative of it is in many foods.  Especially in gluten free foods.  It would be safe to guess that 99% of gluten free products on the market today has rice/rice flour, etc in it.  The plan is to try a food for a day and then return to my normal diet for 3 days to see if I have a reaction. The reaction I'm looking for is does it affect my moods. Am I depressed, anxious, tired, etc. And if so then we'll keep those foods out of my diet.  If there is no reaction after 3 days I will try another food. Then after I have tested all of the foods I will add back in those that I didn't have a negative reaction to.  She has also suggested that I try licorice root extract to assist with my blood sugar. In addition she said to make sure that with every meal or snack to make sure I have protein and Carbohydrates.  The Carbohydrates have been hard for me to do as after several boxes from Costco of Sweet Potatoes I just can’t eat another one. I’m not a big fan of beans or lentils as a snack and there just isn’t enough carbohydrates in the fruits and veggies I eat. The other option has been to bake my own breads, but due to feeling sick so much mostly due to allergy shots I haven’t done a whole lot of cooking.  Now that I’m off of the weekly allergy shots I’ve had more time and energy to cook.  Over the past weekend I’ve tried several recipes and am happy to report a couple really good ones.

Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies. These are really good. They taste and look just like a Peanut Butter Cookie.

These cookies came out of: Gluten Free Cookies by Luane Kohnke. I couldn’t find the recipe on her site so here is a link to her Cashew Butter Cookies. It’s the same recipe with the exception of the Peanut Butter Cookies use Organic Peanut butter. I used Kirkland brand and it only uses ¼ Cup Sugar. It calls for unsalted peanuts but, I only had salted so I used them and didn’t salt the tops of the cookies

http://www.luanekohnke.com/?p=2174

The following recipes came from Elana’s Pantry. http://www.elanaspantry.com/

Many of the recipes I’ve made call for Stevia. I just use regular white sugar. 

The below 3 recipe call for Almond Flour.  I use Almond Meal as it’s in my budget. Almond Meal is much coarser then Almond flour and that may be the reason that the following recipes have a unique texture. But until I have a larger budget I will be happy with what I have, a few more items to add to my diet.

Paleo Pumpkin Bread. I double the recipe and use 4 mini loaf pans. I tried using just 2, but they overflowed.  This bread freezes really well. I use canned pumpkin. Make sure if you buy it in a can you read the label to ensure it’s 100% pumpkin. This is so good I eat it almost daily in the morning with my smoothie.

http://www.elanaspantry.com/paleo-pumpkin-bread/

Triple Chocolate Chip Cookies. These are great. I also use Almond Meal. Maybe if you used Almond Flour the texture would be more like a traditional Cookie, but the cost difference at this time is worth if for me to have things taste and feel a little interesting. I’m not a big cookie fan, but when you are on a limited diet anything new that I can eat is exciting.  I use all white chocolate chips. This recipe also calls for Palm oil. I use butter.

http://www.elanaspantry.com/triple-chocolate-chip-cookies/

Coconut Bars. These are good. At the same time for the price of Coconut Flour I’d say it’s not that good if you are on a strict budget. But, if you can splurge it’s worth a try. For me it was worth a try. They are moist. It’s not very sweet. You need to store them in the fridge. The coconut oil sinks to the bottom and leaves if with an interesting texture that I like. I eat it in the morning with my smoothie as a starch.

http://www.elanaspantry.com/coconut-bars/

Paleo Breakfast Bread. This is a weird recipe in the sense is it doesn’t call for any flour or meal.  I tried this today and was shocked at how good it turned out. It’s moist and spongy just like a cake. Thus it doesn’t have the interesting texture like the above 2 recipes.

http://www.elanaspantry.com/paleo-breakfast-bread/

Say no to Bullies

I am shocked by some of the things that people say.  And am even more annoyed about no one shuts them up.

When I got to work today I asked my boss how his (portrait) drawing session went last night. They had the privilege of drawing Rick last night. You’d love him. He’s an actor for the B Street Theater. He’s full of life, very funny and friendly.  And after having to draw a depressed, personality less gal last week this was going to be a real treat.  (We have to give last weeks model credit, for being so pretty, but if you don’t have the personality to go with the looks it really can put a damper on the drawing session.)

I was shocked by my boss’s response. He said as soon as Susan (one of his artist friends) walked in she told Rick(the model) he should attend weight watchers.  I asked my boss if he stopped Susan and apologized to Rick for her rudeness. My boss said he was going to, but she stopped.  My co-worker said everyone just pretended not to hear her and Rick just laughed it off. I still can’t believe my boss didn’t chew her out for her rudeness. Actually I can, we work with Zara and she just as rude. For over a year I was polite and just ignored her.  After a while I just couldn’t take it any longer and talked to my boss about it and he talked to her, but it didn’t work. One day after enduring her daily dose of rudeness I finally told her I’d had enough of comments about x and to keep them to her self.  From that day on it’s as if I don’t exist, when we pass in the halls she doesn’t acknowledge my presence, when she walks in our office she says hi to everyone else but, me. I let this be for about a year, then I got to thinking that this is really childish and crazy and I went out of my way to say Good Morning etc. and she continues to ignore me and it’s as if I’m talking to a wall. After a year of this I gave up, it’s just not worth my effort.  You’d think for someone who’s 79 she’d know how to play nice. The sad thing is she does play nice when she wants something. This past week my coworker and I witnessed her buttering up my boss, to such an extreme that it caught my coworker’s attention, and then asking for a $200 donation for a vacuum she wanted for the theater.   We were in shock at her blatant manner.  

After attending a 15 week class for battered women, I no longer just brush aside rude comments.  I now take the assertive approach. I’ve realized that it’s better to nip it in the bud. Don’t be rude about it, but let the person know how something they says hurts you. This way they can choose to not say those things and if they keep it up you can choose if you want to associate with them.  Thankfully the people I have confronted recently have chosen my friendship.  And other people like Susan I just do my best to avoid.  I used to work for her and she was nice to me for a long time.  I couldn’t understand why other hated her so much, but then the day came that she turned on me and I finally understood.  And that was the last day we worked together.

After this incident I will no longer help my boss find models.  I don’t want to put anyone else in that situation.