My Favorite Holiday

18 Days 2 Hours 25 Min 39 Sec and counting. You’re probably wondering what I’m counting down till.  As you might have figured out I’m not counting down how many shopping days till Christmas, but if you are wondering about. There are 47 more days so you have plenty of time to read my blog.  I am counting down to my new favorite Holiday. I can’t remember ever really having a favorite holiday till last year.  Last year was a totally turning point in my life in many ways.

I am an only child and now that all my grandparents have passed on we don’t have any traditions left. When my dad’s mom was still alive we would go to NY for Christmas.  Then when she passed away we began spending all the holidays with my Maternal Grandma.  Now that she has passed on and my cousin hates me I really have nowhere to go.

As far as I know my cousin hasn’t always hated me. I don’t think she ever liked me. I’ve really tried to be her friend, but have had no success. And it’s not like we don’t have anything in common either. We both do web design and are very crafty. And at one time we were both really into scrapbooking. So we do have several common interests. The problem is every time I try to strike up a conversation with her it’s like pulling teeth. Maybe she just isn’t a very chatty person, but she just seems so cold.  On the flip side her husband is very easy going and laid back and I totally love him and his family, they are always so full of fun stories.  My grandmother passed away around two years at the age of 90. She more or less died of old age after living a very full life. And everyone see it that way except my cousin. For some reason she thinks that I killed her. That on top of that she found out that my ex-husband abused me and instead of being concerned about my welfare she was more concerned about him and how his family felt that I wasn’t keeping the abuse a secret.  Enough about my cousin and back to why Thanksgiving is my Favorite Holiday.

Last year my Uncle (My maternal grandmother’s sister’s husband) passed away in late October or early November. They had a huge memorial dinner for him and tons of my family attended. I was totally nervous about going due to having to face my cousin, but I’m so glad I attended. I almost didn’t. I was that scared.

I have a huge extended family.  My maternal Grandmother has 11 siblings and my maternal Grandfather has 11 siblings so even though I’m an only child I have tons of second cousins.  At the memorial service I got to talk with my Mom’s cousins and really hit it off. The best part was my family and I got invited to one of my cousin’s for Thanksgiving.  My cousin and her sisters get together for thanksgiving every year at my cousins’ house, the one that lived just a mile or two away from my old house. Actually she was the reason I moved to the town I did.   We could of lived anywhere in the surrounding cities, but I really wanted to live by family so we found a home close by. The sad part is we didn’t spend any time together while I was living there, but just knowing that they were down the street was very comforting. Now that I’m single and don’t have a house to run I hope to spend more time with her and her family.

Last year was the first time I have really hung out with all theses cousins. It was amazing. We had a great time together. It was so fun and festive and I loved hanging out with such a big group.  For the past many years we’ve only had 9 adults in attendance for Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas. And it hasn’t been much fun. The holiday dinners are more of an obligation in my family then I joy.  Earlier this year I was planning on moving to UT in hopes of spending fun holidays with family friends and being surrounded by little kids running around and the sounds of laughter. Maybe that’s not how it really is with big families, but from what I have seen on TV and in movies holidays seem so much more enjoyable the bigger the group and the more kids there are.   I yearn to be surrounded by love and laughter.

Now I just need to figure out what to do about Christmas this year.  Who has the coolest and funniest family and is willing to share them with me?  Maybe once I get married and have kids of my own I will love this holiday and want to spend it home alone with my family, but till then I’d love to spend it with another family. I wish I could just walk into one of those Christmas Movies so I can see if it’s as good at it appears. Maybe I’m being unrealistic and the grass isn’t really greener on the other side. The problem is I will never know since I’m an only child. I will never have siblings who have spouses and kids that I can spend the holidays with.  I guess that is why I want to marry into a big family and have a big family on my own. I really want a Hallmark Holidays.