The Rebound Guy

At first I felt sorry for the rebound guy then I saw the movie “Wedding Crashers.”  The movie is about these two guys who go to weddings to charm their way into bed with women for one night stands.  In the end they meet their mentor Chaz who turns out to be a total looser, is in his 40’s living with his mother and now is crashing funerals. If Chaz is the epitome of the rebound guy then I don’t feel sorry for him one bit.  If it weren’t for him being at the right place at the right time he wouldn’t of been able to hook such a good catch. It’s not like he didn’t get anything out of it either. For him being the rebound guy is much better then being alone.

I got sucked into a rebound guy’s web once. His goal was to marry me before I realized what hit me. And it almost worked. Thank goodness I got some sense knocked into me.  He was very smooth and I was gullible and easily guitlable.  He changed my life. If it weren’t for him I would not be the person I am today.

How do we avoid rebound relationships? That is hard to say.  When I was first divorced they said you should wait 5 years to remarry and I did. But, I still married for the wrong reasons once again. I don’t think there is a time limit you can put on exiting one relationship and being emotionally ready to enter into another relationship.

I don’t think my failed marriage would cause me to enter into a rebound relationship.  I don’t suffer from a broken heart, due to my ex. The relationship deteriorated over time so I don’t feel the typical love lost from a broken heart. I was the one that left him so I thought long and hard about my decision. I do feel a loss for all the broken hopes and dreams. I never got married to get divorced so there is that unexpected loss. I can’t deny that. But there is no emotional attachment there. When I see him I feel nothing. No anger for what he did to me. No sadness, nothing.  I have forgiven and moved on. I have no regret for leaving other then I regret not leaving sooner. I have no hope or dream of ever patching things up.  For me that life ended and a new life has began.

Even though I am pretty sure the next guy I get involved with will not be a rebound relationship. I’m not saying I am ready to get married tomorrow.  For me having an emotional and spiritual connection to someone is top on my checklist. . I need time to get to know someone and time to fall in love.   On the other hand with God’s hand in all things that process can take a day or it can take years. Our time table is a lot different then God’s and he can reveal things to us and teach us things in the blink of the eye that would other wise take years. So I can’t really say when I will be settling down next. Anything is possible.