“The Talk”

Don’t we all dread “The Talk?”  It’s awkward, unpleasant and never seems to yield positive results.  How do you really preface it? “We really need to talk?” Hearing those words will make anyone cringe.  There is no way to preface it to lighten the blow.

I don’t know what it is these days, is there something in the water?  Is it due to the age range of guys that I am seeing and they feel their biological clocks ticking? But every guy I know seems to want to have “the talk.”  What happened to playing coy?  Why is it that guys are so quick to lay all the cards on the table? Why must we determine the relationship so early on?  I know that playing coy too long isn’t good either.  Years later I have found out that there were numerous guys that have liked me over the years, but I never knew they were interested. Some of these guys I really liked, but by their actions I thought they weren’t interested.  If you find me attractive and are interested in me make your intentions knows, flirt a little. I won’t be single for long. You don’t want to spend your life kicking yourself because you were a day late and a dollar short. It would really stink to find out that the guy I hook up with is no better then you, he just got to me first. At the same time if you drop to one knee before our first date you are likely to send me running because I don’t move quite that fast.

“The talk” has manifested itself in many forms. Here are just a few lines of things I have been told: “I’ve always had a crush on you, but you were married. Now that you are single…,” “I just wanted to let you know that I’m interested in you more then a friend,” “I felt a connection the first time I saw you, did you?,” “I see us as friends,” “I find you totally hot, but I am not interested in you,” “I think you should move in with me,” and last but not least don’t forget the marriage proposals.

Well, thanks for sharing. I feel flattered, a little heart broken, and hopeful.  It’s good to know where you stand, but we haven’t even been on a first date yet.  (And you are laughing, but these are things that guys have told me prior to our first date.)

For you it may have been love at first sight, but I’m sorry I just don’t move that fast. I’m not saying that I won’t fall madly in love with you, but I can’t love someone I don’t even know.

Honestly I can’t tell you how fast is too fast, but I can give you a few helpful tips. It’s a good idea to go on a few dates before you spill the beans. Give her a chance to get to know you. Why don’t we go out on at least a single date if not a few and then I can tell you if I’m remotely interested. The fact of the matter is if I agree to go out with you on a date I am interested in getting to know you and then we can see from there if there is a love connection or not.