Say no to Bullies

I am shocked by some of the things that people say.  And am even more annoyed about no one shuts them up.

When I got to work today I asked my boss how his (portrait) drawing session went last night. They had the privilege of drawing Rick last night. You’d love him. He’s an actor for the B Street Theater. He’s full of life, very funny and friendly.  And after having to draw a depressed, personality less gal last week this was going to be a real treat.  (We have to give last weeks model credit, for being so pretty, but if you don’t have the personality to go with the looks it really can put a damper on the drawing session.)

I was shocked by my boss’s response. He said as soon as Susan (one of his artist friends) walked in she told Rick(the model) he should attend weight watchers.  I asked my boss if he stopped Susan and apologized to Rick for her rudeness. My boss said he was going to, but she stopped.  My co-worker said everyone just pretended not to hear her and Rick just laughed it off. I still can’t believe my boss didn’t chew her out for her rudeness. Actually I can, we work with Zara and she just as rude. For over a year I was polite and just ignored her.  After a while I just couldn’t take it any longer and talked to my boss about it and he talked to her, but it didn’t work. One day after enduring her daily dose of rudeness I finally told her I’d had enough of comments about x and to keep them to her self.  From that day on it’s as if I don’t exist, when we pass in the halls she doesn’t acknowledge my presence, when she walks in our office she says hi to everyone else but, me. I let this be for about a year, then I got to thinking that this is really childish and crazy and I went out of my way to say Good Morning etc. and she continues to ignore me and it’s as if I’m talking to a wall. After a year of this I gave up, it’s just not worth my effort.  You’d think for someone who’s 79 she’d know how to play nice. The sad thing is she does play nice when she wants something. This past week my coworker and I witnessed her buttering up my boss, to such an extreme that it caught my coworker’s attention, and then asking for a $200 donation for a vacuum she wanted for the theater.   We were in shock at her blatant manner.  

After attending a 15 week class for battered women, I no longer just brush aside rude comments.  I now take the assertive approach. I’ve realized that it’s better to nip it in the bud. Don’t be rude about it, but let the person know how something they says hurts you. This way they can choose to not say those things and if they keep it up you can choose if you want to associate with them.  Thankfully the people I have confronted recently have chosen my friendship.  And other people like Susan I just do my best to avoid.  I used to work for her and she was nice to me for a long time.  I couldn’t understand why other hated her so much, but then the day came that she turned on me and I finally understood.  And that was the last day we worked together.

After this incident I will no longer help my boss find models.  I don’t want to put anyone else in that situation.