Everything is downhill

After you get to the top of the mountain everything is downhill from there.  That’s been my life lately. I just returned from the last of my must go on adventures.  (Israel is still on my list, but with the wars over there I’m not sure how obtainable that is.) Last year I made it to Bali and had the most amazing time of my life. I also accomplished my life long dream of visiting the Eiffel tower and riding in a gondola in Venice.  After I finally accomplished my dream for the past 10 years of going to Vermont and seeing all cute white churches and covered bridges, life has just been on a downhill slide.

The adrenalin that I have lived off of the week before my big trip as I made the decision to move on a Tuesday and by Friday I had moved. I have to give great thanks to my co-worker who got me to see the obvious and supported me 200% in the way. With helping me look for a place, then packing me, rented a trailer, moved me into my new place and took all the extras to my parents, then kept me occupied for the week before I left on my dream vacation.  I didn’t have a second to myself to think about what I was doing and to get depressed abt it. Wow, what an amazing friend to have around. 

Since I’ve been home it’s been tough. I’ve felt so alone and very FRUSTRATED. I’m back to work, my friend isn’t around every day to distract me, and Mom is back home working. 

I enjoyed another High as I attended Women of Faith with my neighbor, but then after an amazing spiritual weekend, I seem to be left in an even lower low.  I go to Church the following day, and it’s just not as inspirational as the Women’s Conference. So, now I feel even more lost then I did before. I ordered some books by the speakers and have been reading them and that has helped. I do my own bible study every morning when I get to work. I get there 30 min early every day so I have a time to relax and read. I know God is good and he is doing all he can to assist me during my time of need. Last night I was visiting my puppy and my neighbor came by, the one that I went to Women of Faith with and we had a good chat and she let me borrow another book and a CD to listen to in the car. That has helped lift me up. And the book is really good hopefully it will help me at this time. It's called "every woman's battle" by Shannon Ethridge.

I joined a gym last Thursday and that’s helped occupy my time, but you can only work out so much.  I’ve been going everyday after work and I even went on Saturday. Then thankfully my old boss called Saturday afternoon and he took me to lunch and I worked for him for 5hrs.

 I’ve taken a quilting class, but I just can’t seem to motivated.  I have no idea how single people do it. I just feel so starved for physical affection.  I miss snuggling up and watching a movie.  I miss talking and connecting.  I miss cooking together.  I know I can do it all alone and don’t need someone.  I know that it was in my best interest to move and I actually went back this past Saturday and had dinner and watched a movie with Mason and was once again reminded of why I left, but still it’s tough. The change isn’t easy. I’m still adjusting to the new routine.

Maybe if I get this new Job with the State and I can get my own place and my puppy can move in with me and we can snuggle together on the couch  and watch movies and go for long walks in the park.  I love having a roommate and saving money, but I’m thinking I want my puppy with me more. Or shall I say I need my little girl with me so I don’t go crazy being alone.  I'm not sure how thrilled she'll be with being dragged to work again, but it will be good for me to have her with me.  She is a Service Dog, so she might as well move back out of pet status and back to working Dog status.