Will Marriage = Loneliness

I never imagined being single would be so much fun.  By my becoming a facebook user and adding just the right people my social life has really blossomed. I went from being married and unable to find friends to being single and having people inviting me to different events all the time. I’m loving it. The only problem with this is I’m afraid that if I get married I’ll go back to a life of isolation.  When we got married we moved and I left the few friends I had behind.  Even if we stayed things wouldn’t have been much different. The few friends I had moved or they were at different points in their life, getting married, having kids, etc that they no longer had time for me.  

When we moved I tried making friends at work, but that didn’t go well. As hard as I tried I just wasn’t able to connect with anyone there. Then I tried making friends at church, but it seemed everyone was too busy working, taking care of their kids, or just not interested. The couples that didn’t have kids already had a core group of friends and weren’t looking to make new friends or they were both working so much that when they finally got off work they were just happy to spend time alone together.  

The truth is even now I don’t have a lot of real close friends that are local that I do stuff with. I’m slow to let people into my life as I don’t want to be part of gossip and the drama that goes on in tight knit groups, thus I tend to keep people at arm’s length.  In turn I end up with a lot of acquaintances and not many “friends.” Most of the invites to do stuff are generic face book event posts for the Singles or Mid-singles groups I’m a part of.  Which is fine by me as there are plenty of them and they are lots of fun.  In addition I’m not much of a planner or initiator so I don’t get groups together. 

My concern is when I get married I won’t be allowed to come to these events and then what will I do? Hanging out with your best friend is fun, but I need more then that. How will we find other couples to do things with? Will I be able to find local girlfriends that want to get together with me, who have time and are willing to make the time for me?