Limbo

Let me just say that living in limbo is very frustrating. I’m not quite single, but I have no benefits of being married.  With the holiday season all around there are millions of Singles holiday parties to go to and I can’t attend. To add it I can’t attend the couple’s parties either. I remember last year was so much fun. My girlfriend and I hit up all the parties. Starting in October we just went to one party after another Halloween party. Then December rolled around and we went to Ugly sweater parties and then the year ended with a fun New Years Eve party filled with mistletoe and lots of random kisses.  Now I’m home stuck on my couch staring at my ring, which reminds me everyday that I’m still married.  It also helps alert the guys around me that I’m not just giving them the cold shoulder, but I’m just not dating at this time.  So far everyone has been very supportive and no one has shunned me.

Due to I’m working hard at not dating till the divorce is final I figured I needed something to fill my time so I took up snowboarding.  Spending time in the snow also gives me a little relief from my allergies. So, life isn’t all that bad. Snowboarding keeps me busy for two days on the weekend. The day before I got snowboarding I go to bed at 9pm so I can get up at 5am the next morning.

I’m really having a blast snowboarding. I joined a local meetup group and have met a lot of fun friendly people.  I also have another amazing roommate that I hang out with every night, that is until he gets sick of me. So it’s not like I’m a total hermit. It’s just frustrating.  It’s not that I want to run out and hook up with someone, but it would be nice to attend some of holiday festivities. It’s such an adjustment not going out dancing every weekend or going to FHE on Mondays. I guess you can say there is a season for everything and this is my season to hang out at home and do all those things I’ve put off doing such as making the wedding video for my girlfriend and quilting.  I am looking forward to taking up quilting again.  Hopefully this next week I’ll get a chance to run back to Josh’s and pick up my sewing machine and then I’ll be able to set it up in my room. I’ll finally get the Day of the Dead quilt I started before I get married.

I  must be feeling better because yesterday I couldn't wait to get off work to go home and make dinner from scratch. Things have really changed for me over these past few months. I'm finally getting my strength and motivation back. It feels so good to actually look forward to going home and spending time with the person I live with.

My roommate and I were chatting last night and he was complimenting me on how emotionally stable and functional I am. I have to say I was very flattered as I explained to him that I'm quite stressed at the moment. On Friday I'm expecting my divorce paperwork back from my husband so I can  take then back to the lawyer to have them reviewed before I turn them in. On the flip side I have to say that overall I'm really enjoying my life right now.