Today should be a happy day. Or shall I say yesterday should have been a happy day as I look forward to today. For some strange reason I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for today so looking forward to today wasn’t all so pleasant. I know bad timing, but this was the first available appointment and I wanted to get in ASAP so I could figure out if there was something wrong or my abnormal was normal. And just to let you know my abnormal is normal. But it was still an awful experience. I’m just not a fan of doctors and being poked and prodded. In addition I had this procedure done 5 yrs ago and it was a horrific experience and it was no better today and just like last time I’ll have to reschedule and come back for them to complete it, ugh. So anticipating that and then going through that just made me anxious and left me in tears as I was in horrific pain. Just to let you know I feel much better, but don’t look forward to returning in a wk for her to do it again, but hopefully next time it will be a success and I won’t have to be back any time soon.
Back to tonight. I’m finally going to see the Cirque show that I’ve been dying to see forever. Unfortunately things took a turn down last night. To add to it I’m totally exhausted. My roommate sounds miserable due to allergies and that makes me think that my exhaustion is probably due to allergies too. I’m literally a walking zombie. It’s not that I’m up late, I’m just totally drained and it’s so frustrating. I’m tired of being tired. My roommate is doing my best to comfort me, letting me know that I don’t need to be energetic all of the time and to just take it easy, but I’m still frustrated. I’ve had allergies all of my life and spend most of the year a walking zombie due to it and I’m tired of it. I still remember coming back from Bali and going from energetic to felling so whipped out. And that is the problems it’s not creeping up on me this time as it has in the past. This is the second time this year that I realize that I used to have energy and now I’m exhausted. In the past I was just tired all of the time, but don’t recall not being that way. So, having something and taking it away is worse then never having it at all.
To add to my newly realized exhaustion I got my divorce paperwork returned to me last night. And I was feeling good last night till I got the call from Josh saying “You Got Mail.” I was tired after work, but was able to successfully run some errands and got exactly what my roommate wanted for his Birthday which is Wednesday, and better yet, I bought it at REI so if it’s not perfect he can return it whenever. I have to say that is one thing I love about that store, they have a lifelong return policy.
Back to the divorce paperwork: I can’t believe it. This was the whole reason I paid a lawyer, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the paperwork being kicked back. On the other hand I am pretty impressed to get it back so soon. Last time they waited over 3 months to tell me it was wrong so I guess I should feel happy that it’s back so soon and hopefully then when I get it back to them it will be processed and in 3 months I’ll have it all done. The paperwork arrived at Josh’s house as that was where I was living when I turned it in so I didn’t know exactly what it said till this morning. So I stressed and cried about it all last night. My poor roommate who has been stuffed up and sniffling and feeling more miserable everyday due to allergies had to deal with a roommate who kept crying and who was tired and frustrated. In addition while at my girlfriend’s the other day I was talking to her husband and he said to send me a copy of my resume so he can forward it to a friend of his who is a director in one of the state departments. I was excited about that, but I also feel stressed about trying to get it done now as it’s still in the process.
Back to the divorce paperwork. I reviewed their checklist of what is missing and all of those papers have been turned in, one was returned to me and the other wasn’t. I’ll have to schedule another appointment with the lawyer to see if they can figure out what is really missing. This sure is getting expensive and continues to be stressful. I know it will get done eventually, but I just want it done and over with. I don’t want to have to interact with Randy anymore. Every time I do it’s an ordeal. I know I need to take control and not let him effect me, but it’s hard. He just has this way of pressing my buttons and I let him get the best of me. Hopefully I won’t have to go back to him and request additional paperwork because I know he’ll only argue with me about how he doesn’t need to fill it out, turn it in, etc.
Sorry for the scattered post, but as you can tell I’m not thinking straight due to exhaustion due to allergies and not feeling so well physically and emotionally. Just a lot of stress going on right now. I do look forward to my show tonight. I’d better hurry home so I can get there on time.
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