How many Toads do I need to kiss to find Prince Charming?

February is just around the corner and that means that Valentines Day is almost upon us.  Months prior to the New Year’s Eve Dance there was talk about who was going to score that coveted New Year’s Eve kiss.  What does Valentines have in store? The mistletoe has been put away so there won’t be any free kisses being given away. What do us single folks have to look forward to? Will cupid be out shooting arrows? If so we’d better hope prince charming is in attendance so we don’t end up with a Toad.  On the other hand maybe that Toad is really our Prince Charming.  We just don’t know it yet.  How often is that just the case? I remember going dress shopping with my Mom and she said for me to try on every dress even if I didn’t like it, I might be happily surprised at how it looked. To my shock Mom was right. The styles that I liked weren’t very flattering and the ones that I rolled my eyes at looked amazing on me.  Could it be possible that those Toads are really our Prince Charming and Cinderella?  If so we’d better stop rolling our eyes and giving them the “cold-shoulder.”   

If we have ever had our hearts broken we now know that who we though was our Prince Charming or Cinderella really wasn’t.  I for one am a master of bad judgment. I think I have dated ever scumbag and every “Tool” out there. Many times I thought I found my Prince Charming and to my dismay he broke my heart.

If the Toads are really my Prince Charming in disguise I want to know many Toads do I need to smooch to find my Prince Charming? And we all thought fairly tales were just a myth.

While we are on the subject of smooching according to Hitch "Eight out of Ten women believe that the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship.”  If this is true maybe I should just have all the Toads line up.  I’m not one to freely give out kisses, but if that is all it takes I might just do it to save myself from a lot of heart ache.

Ladies how true is this statement? Does the first kiss really tell you something? If so what does it tell you? The only thing I have determined from the first kiss is either he is a really good kisser and I want more or he is really lousy.

No one wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!"

I’m not one to quote movies.  On the other hand I’m always interested in great discussions especially with people that will help me see things in a new light and assist me in looking outside the box.  Hitch is one of those Movies that really got me thinking and looking outside the box.  Below is a long quote from Hitch that has many good points. The parts in parentheses and in italics are my two cents.

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~ Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now."

(The line that I have most recently heard is, “I’m still recovering from a broken heart.” This is a tricky one because you don’t want to be the rebound relationship, on the other hand she/he may just not know you well enough and is going to milk that line for all it’s worth. I can give the very same line, but that line is just as legit as I’m just really busy with work and stuff.)

You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," ……Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you yet...

(Did you catch that, she doesn’t even know you. I blogged about this last week. For, you it may be love at first sight, but for me I need some more time. Give me a chance to get to know you. I think guys use these lines for the same reason, they just don’t know me well enough to really know if they are interested in me so to play it safe they give me a line. Click her to read that blog post.)

Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.~

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I think the same goes for Men. I’m pretty sure my dream guy doesn’t know right now that I’m his dream girl. It won’t be till he sees me and has spent time with me that he’ll finally figure it out.  So, all I need to do be at the right place at the right time and everything will fall into place.  When I’m in his arms the light bulb will go on and he’ll finally realize that I am exactly what he has always dreamed of.  It may take some time for him to realize this or for me to realize he is my dream guy.

Sometimes we have instant connections with people and other times those connections build over time. I think it all depends on what we have going on in our lives. When I’m preoccupied with work, money, sick friends, etc I may not feel any connection with someone due to I’m on autopilot. I’m physically there but my mind is elsewhere.  Thus it may take several encounters or dates for us to make a connection. I have seen this with people I have dated and friends I have.  Some friends I have had for years, but it’s been a superficial relationship. It wasn’t till someone said something that we created this connection and our friendship blossomed and become deeper then just associates.  My blog has really helped me connect with people on a different level.  It amazes me how similar many of our lives are especially since from the outside everyone appears so different. The same has also happened with people I have dated. They seem nice enough so I go out with them, but I feel absolutely no connection. Then several dates later we finally find some common ground and a connection forms. If I had just written them off after the first date we wouldn’t have realized how amazing each other is.

How to Insult a Woman

Life isn’t all peaches and cream, but it’s so much more fun talking about the good times.  When we talk about happy times it just puts us in a good mood. At least that is how it works for me. If I talk about all the stuff that just isn’t going right in my life it really brings me down. And if there isn’t anything I can do about it then I see no point of talking about it and dwelling on it. Thus unless something is really bugging me I’d rather blog about the amazing parts of my life.  By doing this it reminds me of how blessed I am and helps me from just sitting around and having a pity party for myself, because there is plenty I can complain about.

Just to show you that my life isn’t all peaches and cream I thought I’d share some of the lines men have fed me recently.  For those men who are reading this, I share this with you as a public service as things not to say to women you are hoping to woo.  And to those girls that want to date any of my discards go right ahead.  Some girls get jealous if you date their ex's but not me. I'll even be happy to hook you two up.

Quotes from my weekend in Vegas:

Out of nowhere he tells me (in reference to an old facebook profile picture)  “this isn’t my favorite picture of you. You have much better pictures.”  Um, ok. My thought is why are you brining this up now? Since he brought it up I figured I would tell him the history behind it and why I posted it.  I explained to him that everyone was posting Christmas pictures so I wanted to join in. In addition I had made a comment on my Facebook wall that I was taking my puppy home for Christmas so I wanted to show her off.  Especially since few know I own a dog.

He goes on to say “you look like you just woke up in that picture. “ Why would anyone say that? I tell him that that the picture was taken Christmas Eve. You’d think he’d stop there, but he goes on.“You look like you just got up Christmas Morning and were opening presents.  You have your retainer on.” He then proceeds to argue with me that I have my night guard on.  I’m an adult for crying out loud. I know when the picture was taken and I know what I was wearing.   After realizing that it was a loosing battle I quickly change the subject.

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“It’s like you are from another planet.”   How do you respond to that comment? Beam me up Scotty?  Or do you say, you must have read “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” Would you like to discuss it?  But, with the look in his eye, I played it safe and kept my mouth shut.

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“Just stop talking.” When I hear that and see that look in someone’s eye I don’t try explain myself or defend myself I instantly clam up. I am not a mind reader, but there are a few cues I have picked up on over the years and I know when it’s time to be clam up and walk away. I’m not one of those girls that will plead with you to talk about it. If you don’t want to talk things out then I will respect your wishes and will give you space. Sometimes all someone needs is space and time to regroup. That is what I hoped for this weekend, but apparently that was not the case.  There is always a look  a perpetrator makes before he strikes and I didn’t want to be the victim so I walked away. Far away.

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“You must be on drugs.”  Um, what do you say to that? You are one to speak?

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Here are a couple more from 2 other charming men:

“You dress like you shop at K-Mart.”  The sad thing is he really meant it as a compliment. I have no idea who he grew up around because I don’t know a soul that would take this as a compliment.

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“I’ve never known a women to own so many sweaters.” Ok, that wasn’t bad, but he kept bringing up that I wear lots of sweaters. We had discussions about it.  It was like he was hoping if we discussed it I would wear something different. I don’t know if he noticed but, it’s winter and freezing cold. He’s a big guy so maybe he doesn’t get cold, but I’m extremely petite and I’m freezing all the time.  I’m sorry, but I hate it when guys try to dress me. It’s a total turn off.  I dated a guy once that bought me this fluffy fuzzy sweater because he wanted to cuddle me in it. The sweater wasn’t bad but how he presented it was a total turn off, he made me feel like Barbie.  Sorry, guys, but I am not a toy. If I wanted to be a toy I would find me a Sugar Daddy.

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For all of the not so charming men out there I have found some real gems. I will always love the guy that invited me over and when I asked him if I needed to change, due to I was wearing my PJ’s, he said “Never.” His wife will be the luckiest woman in the world.  He knows just what to say.

Epic Weekend

What do bulls eyes, go-cart racing, rollerblading, great food, perfect dates, laughing with friends add up to? You guessed it. An Epic Weekend.

After last weekend I needed to have my faith renewed that taking the day off and traveling out of town was worth it.  My weekend defiantly did that.  In addition it helped me whittle away my bucket list. Let’s start with Bulls Eyes. I’ve wanted to learn to shoot a gun for years now. My dad has guns and enjoys going to the shooting range. Recently I learned that he’s taken my mom. Well, it finally dawned on me that maybe my dad would enjoy taking me to the shooting range. So, for his birthday I suggested it and it was a success. He knew a man who is a retired Police Officer and gives lessons so he set me up with a lesson. It was amazing.  It didn’t make me want to go out and buy a gun, but it was a great experience.  I got to shoot a pistol and an automatic. I like shooting the pistol much better, more accurate and the shells aren’t going to possibly hit me in the head and I don’t have to scrounge around to clean them up after I’m done.  Check out my first target. Pretty good if I say so myself. I think I’ll hang it in my entryway. This way if anyone plans of robbing me they are forewarned that if they have a gun and stand less then 21feet away they will be taken down by me.  Yes, they need to provide their own gun. Why should I carry a gun?

Go-cart racing: I’ve never driven a go-cart before.  It was a lot of fun zooming around the track, but after about 30 minutes I felt quite nauseous.   One of the things on my bucket list was to drive a racecar. I did some research and found a local racetrack that gave lessons. I was all ready to sign up, but now I think I’ll pass. I don’t like feeling nauseous.

Laughing with friends over great food: Friday night I met up with friends for dinner and it was a blast. My girlfriends squeezed by everyone to come sit next to me. It could have just been the two of us having dinner because we laughed the whole time. Everyone probably thought we were crazy, but we were having the time of our lives. It’s wonderful when you meet people and you just click.  I met her at my girlfriends wedding and from the moment we met we were rolling with laughter. You would of though we were old friends the way we were laughing.  If someone can make me laugh like that I instantly love them. 

Perfect Dates: I totally love dating my friends. It is so fun when the two of you feel comfortable enough to not feel like you have dress up, take a shower or you have to plan out this extravert expensive date.  It shows that you are great friends and can just have fun together. You don’t have to worry about what you say; you can talk about taboo subjects, and laugh at the dumbest things. You can just be you and have a perfect time together.  Seriously, who would think tearing out the subfloor of a bathroom would be part of the perfect date.  Or going rollerblading and when you run across the guy that canceled your date because I said it wasn’t love at first sight you can both laugh about it. (I resisted from saying to him "This could have been you, NOT!!!" I'm so glad he bailed because I just know that this date was 10000 times better.)  I have to say it was hilarious cute that we matched too.  Now that was funny and totally unplanned.  These are the times I wish I carried a camera with me because that would have been the cutest picture ever.  I love a man that cooks for me and eats through out the day.  I know you probably think this strange, but I was married to someone that regulated my eating and it drove me nuts. So, when my friends keep me fed I feel like I’m in heaven.  I have low blood sugar so I need to eat ever couple of hours and it’s not always easy and quite awkward if you aren’t both on the same eating schedule.   So I totally love this friend because he is health conscious and eats. Wow, the best of both worlds.

Another Fabulous Date: On Sunday another friend invited me over for dinner. Did I tell you I love having friends that cook for me. I also love playing games and he'll play them with me. Let me tell you about our first date.  It was quite amazing. I had been working on this outfit and I finally got it together right before we were to get together. We had made some other plans, but I was totally excited to wear my outfit so we changed our plans and he took me swing dancing so I could show off my fabulous outfit. Let's just say I was the bell of that ball.  Every heard turned when I walked in and those that came in after me all had to do a double take. I looked that amazing.

I know every weekend can't be Epic, but I'm looking forward to another amazing weekend.  I'm taking next Friday off so I can hook up with yet another amazing friend. It doesn't matter what we end up doing because what ever we do we will be rolling with laughter the whole time. It's just a guarantee. 

Being an only child Rocks

I never thought I’d love being an only child, until this weekend. It finally dawned on me that being an only child has amazing perks. My parents are far from rich, but one thing I know is if I ever need money my parents will always be able to help me out. That is a big relief since I kind of just walked out of my marriage with the shirt on my back in many ways. I used to work in corporate America and did quite well for myself, but quit my job when I got married and haven’t worked for Corporate America since. I have to say I have not taken advantage of my parents’ generosity. I turned my part time job into a full time gig. It’s not like having a “real” job, but it pays the bills and that is what really matters right now.

Another perk of being an only child and having my parent live close by is I can borrow my mom’s clothing. Is that so cool or what? Most recently I borrow her ski bib and boots. I am looking forward to learning how to surf this summer and you won’t believe it, but my mom is a proud owner of a wetsuit that I can borrow.  When I was in high school I wore the dress my mom wore in the Miss Chinatown pageant to my senior ball and have worn it many times since on cruises. Being about the same size of my mom and her never throwing away her clothing is a plus too.  Last year I went to a 70’s party and I wore an amazing outfit including her bell-bottoms and matching suit jacket.

The best perk of all is my Mom let’s me swap cars with her.  Seriously, who could ask for a better deal than this? I’m going up to the snow this weekend and Mom is letting me take her 4wd. I’m totally nervous about driving in the snow, but I am confident that I can do it. After last weekend I know I can do it.  When I first moved into my house I built a huge arbor and borrowed my parents long bed truck. I loved that truck. The 12 ft posts fit in just fine. I truly amaze myself. I built it all by myself, well not 100%. I have to give some credit to my ex. Someone had to hold it in place as I poured the cement in.

I know these things may not be the norm for every only child and it might not have anything to do with being an only child at all. You may be one of seven and still get all these perks. All I’m saying is if I was one of a dozen I might not get all these perks because I may have to fight my siblings for them. So, in a way they may just be perks of having totally awesome parents.  Either way. I have to say my life totally rocks sometimes.

Chemistry

Do you need instant chemistry or can chemistry be built?  I was reading this girl’s blog and she said “I know myself well-enough that I don't build chemistry with someone, it has to be there from the start.” (Click here to view her blog) This got me thinking. I am not a believer of “love at first sight,” so I have been working with the theory that chemistry can be built. I’ve been dating a lot and as much as I have tried the chemistry is not building. These are really nice guys and on paper they seem perfect for me, but I’m just not feeling the chemistry. After existing a chemistry-less relationship I vowed this time that prior to entering into a committed relationship I must be head over heels in love.

You may be wondering why don’t I believe in love at first sight. The reason is because it never seems to work for me. Those people I have felt instant chemistry with have never wanted to inter in a relationship with me. This isn’t just recently it’s the story of my life. After suffering several broken hearts I have kind of given up on every getting that. So I changed my dating approach and have been sticking to dating those people that flirt back with me that seem nice and hope that overtime that chemistry will happen.  So far things haven’t panned out with this theory.

I watched the move Hitch yesterday and he said: “…any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”  Maybe my fellow blogger is right, there needs to be some chemistry from the start.  Thus said maybe I should go back to seeking after those that I feel instant chemistry with. To make this a success I just need to find the “right broom.”  How do I find the “right broom?”

“The Talk”

Don’t we all dread “The Talk?”  It’s awkward, unpleasant and never seems to yield positive results.  How do you really preface it? “We really need to talk?” Hearing those words will make anyone cringe.  There is no way to preface it to lighten the blow.

I don’t know what it is these days, is there something in the water?  Is it due to the age range of guys that I am seeing and they feel their biological clocks ticking? But every guy I know seems to want to have “the talk.”  What happened to playing coy?  Why is it that guys are so quick to lay all the cards on the table? Why must we determine the relationship so early on?  I know that playing coy too long isn’t good either.  Years later I have found out that there were numerous guys that have liked me over the years, but I never knew they were interested. Some of these guys I really liked, but by their actions I thought they weren’t interested.  If you find me attractive and are interested in me make your intentions knows, flirt a little. I won’t be single for long. You don’t want to spend your life kicking yourself because you were a day late and a dollar short. It would really stink to find out that the guy I hook up with is no better then you, he just got to me first. At the same time if you drop to one knee before our first date you are likely to send me running because I don’t move quite that fast.

“The talk” has manifested itself in many forms. Here are just a few lines of things I have been told: “I’ve always had a crush on you, but you were married. Now that you are single…,” “I just wanted to let you know that I’m interested in you more then a friend,” “I felt a connection the first time I saw you, did you?,” “I see us as friends,” “I find you totally hot, but I am not interested in you,” “I think you should move in with me,” and last but not least don’t forget the marriage proposals.

Well, thanks for sharing. I feel flattered, a little heart broken, and hopeful.  It’s good to know where you stand, but we haven’t even been on a first date yet.  (And you are laughing, but these are things that guys have told me prior to our first date.)

For you it may have been love at first sight, but I’m sorry I just don’t move that fast. I’m not saying that I won’t fall madly in love with you, but I can’t love someone I don’t even know.

Honestly I can’t tell you how fast is too fast, but I can give you a few helpful tips. It’s a good idea to go on a few dates before you spill the beans. Give her a chance to get to know you. Why don’t we go out on at least a single date if not a few and then I can tell you if I’m remotely interested. The fact of the matter is if I agree to go out with you on a date I am interested in getting to know you and then we can see from there if there is a love connection or not.  

What happens in Vegas….

I just got home from the most amazing weekend in Vegas. It was just as I imagined it.  I flew in Friday Evening after a long day at work to be greeted by my sweetheart at the gate.  He showered me with a dozen long stemmed roses. From there we drove over to the Venetian where we had the most romantic dinner ever along the canal. Then we took a gondola ride and the gondolier serenaded us.  Next we went to see O, The Cirque du Soleil at the Bellagio. It was just as amazing as I imagine it. I fell in love with Cirque du Soleil back in 2002 when I saw them in the Movies and have been dying to see them ever since.  I having the time of my life and didn’t want the evening to end so we next headed over to the Palms and danced to the wee hours of the morning.

Saturday morning we slept in after partying all night long.  We ordered room service and were served a scrumptious meal of French toast smothered with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  After soaking in the giant tub we headed out for a leisurely day on the town.   We strolled up and down the strip hitting all the tourist spots and taking the most amazing pictures.  What would a trip to Vegas be with out getting your picture taken with Elvis and driving through a wedding chapel?!  Well, we did it all. We visited NY NY and rode the roller coaster and took our picture in front of the Statue of Liberty.   We had lunch at a Kosher Deli and I indulged and had a Reuben.  We ended the evening in the most romantic city in the world Paris.  The décor is amazing in there.  I love the clouds on the ceiling and the cobblestone roads and quaint little shops.  We rode up to the top of the Eiffel tower and had dinner in the restaurant.  The atmosphere couldn’t have been more romantic.

If only that is how my trip went. Unfortunately my trip turned out nothing like I expected or ever imagined. It wasn’t like I had totally unrealistic expectations either. I only wanted to do two things while in Vegas: 1. See a Cirque du Soleil show 2. Take some fun and funny pictures that would remind me of the amazing trip.  Unfortunately neither happened.  Even thought many may say it was the “Vacation from Hell” I have to say I’m glad I went. I learned some very valuable lessons.  The most important lesson I learned is I am a strong independent women and I don’t need a man to take care of me.  I truly amazed myself and have to say, my Daddy would be so proud of me. Things went from bad to worse and by Sunday night at Midnight I packed up my stuff and left.  I marched down to the front desk and requested my own room. Unfortunately due to is was a holiday weekend they didn’t have any available rooms. They called up Bally’s and they said they had rooms so I hiked over there. Unfortunately when I got there they were booked too. They called up Paris and sent me over there.  And that is where I resided that night. I have to say the room was amazing.  I’m Miss frugal so I usually check into a Motel 6, so to be in the epitome of luxury I was in heaven. I did shed a few tears on my journey, but as I made my way to my new room I was glowing.   

I would have never imagined my vacation would go this way. That I would be packing up my stuff in the middle of the night and be out looking for a room. And then need to secure my own transportation to the airport. Other then business trips I have never traveled alone. I’ve never not booked a room in advance. So this was a whole new experience for me. I may have been flying solo, but I was far from alone. I had my friend on the phone coaching me the whole way. It’s amazing what technology has done to our society.  You can be in a foreign country vacationing on your own, but you aren’t lonely because all of your friends are a text or phone call away.  I have to say I have one of the most amazing friends ever. Thank you dear friend for staying up with me till 3 am till I got settled in and going dancing with me.  We had an amazing evening together. I was far from alone or trapped. I felt free and independent.  I have to say you are all that and a bag of chips. And those chips taste even better soaking in a giant bubble bath.  Yep, that was me at 3am eating chips in a bubble bath after a night of dancing.  What an amazing evening. My plane didn’t leave till Monday night so I spent the day exploring Vegas. I made my way to NY NY stopped off in their deli and had a Reuben and ate in the quaint streets of NY.  I’m a sucker for good food and cute. I also took my picture in front of the Statue of Liberty. Kind of Cheesy, but I needed a few pictures that said I’m on my own and it’s ok.

I am now confident enough to travel on my own. I will take that trip to Bali that I really want to, but have been too scared to do. And as much as I don’t need a man, I love having one around.  Falling in love is the most wonderful feeling and it is worth the possibilities that it might lead to a broken heart.  So, Bring in to World. I can take anything you dish out.

Chocolate House

“I don’t want to be settled for.” I don’t know why this keeps coming up in conversations, but my single male friends seem to be fixated on this. To me it never crossed my mind that some guy would ever settle for me. I have so much to offer. Aside from my amazing good looks what could he possibly be giving up to be with me? I for one am not planning on settling.  So, if any of you guys get with me, let me tell you I didn’t settle for you. If I was one to settle I wouldn’t be single. I walked out of my marriage because I refused to settle. In church we are taught to endure to then end, but I was informed by my bishop said I was way too young to “endure to the end” aka settling.  Before my divorce papers were even cold I received three marriage proposals. As you can see I am still single. Therefore you should all rest assured that I am not settling.  If we ever go out you should feel flattered. I am not one who is lacking for dates.  I make a very conscious choice who I spend my time with and who I let in to my life. I have many more acquaintances then friends as most of us do.  We all meet people at work, school, church, or other social functions. Some people are desperate for friends and will do anything to be accepted.  I yearn to make lifelong friends but, there are some things I will not settle for or sacrifice to be surrounded by people. Top on my list is I don’t associate with people who gossip, talk behind other’s back and stab people in the back. I am all about spending time with genuine people who say it how it is. Bluntness can be a curse, but it can also be a blessing. If you associate with blunt people you can rest assured that they are not going to beat around the bush and aren’t going to stab you the back because you know if they have something to say they are very comfortable saying it to your face.  I also like genuine people, people who are open and honest and don’t try to always put on a happy face. I love people who will disagree with me and put me in my place. We all like being right, that is just human nature, but I am always up for a good discussion and am willing to change my way of thinking or thought process.

I’m not looking for that house made out of chocolate.  I’ve been married before so I am well aware that compromises need to be made.  I’m not looking for perfect, but he’s going to be totally perfect for me.  He is also going to be totally drop dead gorgeous.  I’ve already married the guy for his insides and that just didn’t work out. When his insides weren’t that great I didn’t even get the joys of appreciating his outsides. So that just doesn’t work. The funny thing is my girlfriend and I talk about this all the time. She is totally in love with this guy and finds him totally hot and I look at him and think he’s kind of dorky. Then I tell her who I think is totally hot and she say’s he’s ok, better then so and so but not all that. Well, it’s a good thing we don’t think the same guys are totally hot.  The same with a guy’s personality. I really liked this guy and when my girlfriend first met him she thought he was the most annoying guy ever.  I mean he totally turned her off, made her uncomfortable and she really couldn’t stand him. Being the great friend she is she endured his presence for my sake and he finally grew on her. She now sees why I like him, but at the same time she doesn’t like him. Which is good for me, since sometimes you talk a person up so much that your friend starts to like then and then that’s not good.  So, I have to say I have the best girlfriend ever. She likes the guys I like but doesn’t like them the way I like them. That is totally the way it should be. So, yea for finding the perfect friend.

I don’t expect to live in a house made out of chocolate, but I wouldn’t mind him being covered in chocolate, because I am a big fan of milk chocolate.  I am very realistic to what I seek, just talk to me you will realize that my feet are firmly planted in the ground. I am well aware life will not be a fairytale, but it will be my fairy tale. It will probably have lots of bumps along the way, but that’s how I like it. Everything happens for a reason and it is during those difficult times that we all come together and grow stronger and closer.

I see no problem with wanting to be swept off my feet by prince charming. Don’t we all want to be totally head over heels in love with our spouse, for them to be our best friend and to have an amazing spiritual connection with them?  I have so much to offer and thus I deserve to have my cake and eat it too.

As someone put it this weekend men are looking for the perfect wife and the whore in bed. I am looking for my prince charming. So if you are prince charming then I am the perfect wife and the whore in bed.

I'm that hot

I am ever Single Girl’s worst nightmare. I am the beautiful new girl that swoops in and hooks up with Mr. Hotty.  I really don’t mean to infringe on anyone’s territory, this just seems to be the story of my life lately. For some reason the most eligible bachelor just finds me irresistible.  

It all started this past summer when I went to the YSA branch in search of roommates. The first day of church I was inducted into the “in crowd” and was living the life.  I thought my life couldn’t get anymore perfect. Then I hooked up with the hottest guy in the branch and I felt like I was walking on water. Can I just say it was a magical summer? We went to the state fair and took the cheesiest picture and he posted it as his profile picture. I had no idea things were getting so serious. But, as you well know when you appear in someone’s profile picture then it’s official.  What officially got me blacklisted from the “in crowd” was when he bragged that we made out.  And you know how fast news travels in a Singles group. You tell one person and all of a sudden everyone knows.  I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I can’t blame him for spilling the beans because it was simply amazing.  I don’t recall ever being kissed like that before. My toes totally curl ever time we kiss. 

After capturing the heart of the hottest guy in the YSA group it was time for me to move on. My next destination was the Mid-Singles scene. I made a grand entrance into the Mid-Singles wearing the most amazing mermaid costume. When I walked in every head turned. And to this day I am known as the "Mermaid Girl." Just in case you missed the party let me tell you, I was by far the hottest girl there. The guys were swarming around me.  It wasn’t easy keeping them at bay.  With every guy trying to win my affections for the evening I was surprised to see the guy that all the girls were swarming around make his way by my side.  Most guys wouldn’t give up the chance to have a harem of girls for a chance to win a single girl’s heart.  Well, what ever he did it worked and there are pictures to prove it. If you look at all the pictures cataloging the evening you will notice that he was able to deter all the other guys and kept me to himself all night long. I have to say he was pretty impressive in that regard. You will also see millions of pictures of him with every girl at the party too. Next look at all the picture of me, he’s in every single one. I don’t know what he told those other guys to get rid of them. Maybe they just knew they couldn't compete with him. Being that "He's All That." He was the envy of every guy. And I was the envy of every girl there. Don't we just make the cutest couple?!  

I can keep going, but I think you get the point. Unless you want to hear who I hooked up with at the New Year’s Eve Dance and the amazing New Year’s Kiss we shared.

It’s funny how people assume things. The saying is so true. If you assume you make ass out of yourself.  

From the outside it totally looked like I hooked up at all these events. Truth be told that is not how it went down at all. For starters when I went the YSA branch I was just looking for a roommate and wasn’t looking to date at all.  I am much older that that group so I did't think this would be an issue. I did become friends with Mr. Hotty  At the time I didn't care what he looked like or if he were I guy or girl. I would have preferred to of hooked up with a girl.  I was totally friendless at the time and very shy and very stressed.  I was in desperate need of a friend. I confided in Mr. Hotty and he was very sweet, took pity on me, and befriended me.  He made sure I got an invite me to all the activities and spent time with me. He was always there for me when I needed a friend and I spent many nights crying on his shoulder. Because we spent so much time together and were so close people started assuming things.  It resulted by me being blacklisted from the group. That really stunk because those girls were so much fun and I was in desperate need of friends.  Being blacklisted was probably the best thing for me. I was able to make a couple of genuine friends after that. At about the same time I moved and joined the family ward and it was time for me to joint the Mid-Singles group where I belonged.

As for what really happened at the Mid-Singles Halloween Party. I did show up in the most amazing mermaid costume and looked totally hot. But, there were no guys swarming around me. Not even close. I came alone to the party and felt totally out of place. This was my first Mid-Singles Event and I didn’t know anyone. In addition everyone seemed to know everyone else. I tried talking to people, but just felt so awkward and out of place.  A few people came up to me and introduced themselves and introduced me to their friends.  But, I didn’t seem to connect with anyone. If it weren’t for Edward who kept coming up to me and talking to me and dancing with me I probably would of left.  It helped that my girlfriend showed up and said she knew Edward and assured me he wasn’t going to take me out back and suck my blood.  So, I felt pretty safe with him. I tried not to follow him around too much. I didn’t want to be one of those annoying people that you smile at then won’t leave you alone all night. So I kept my distance and thankfully he kept coming back and rescuing me from my awkwardness. I have to say he had the best costume to get all the girls hearts fluttering. Girls swarmed around him all night long.  They all wanted their pictures taken with him.  I’m not into Twilight, so I wasn’t part of his harem. Truth be told he did look hot, but what mattered most was someone was talking to me.  So, thank you Edward for making my first Mid-Singles Event a pleasant experience.  You are my hero. I have to say I feel honored that you took the time to talk to me with that harem following you.  Unlike me you didn't lack for friends and people to hang out with.

Back to those who love to assume. Here is my public service announcement for the day. Stop assuming because you will only make an ass out of yourself. Two months later I come to find out that some guys didn't come up to me at the Halloween party because my good looks were intimidating. In additon I appeared to be with Edward.  That is very gentleman of you not to steal me away. But, now that you know the truth, don't you feel dumb?  This can be the reason you are still single you assume too much. If you want dips on the pretty girl you need to be more like Edward, were a costume that will get all the girls hearts fluttering and help that new girl out and talk to her so she doesn't feel like the biggest dork standing there all alone.

Dodging bullets & Juggling Balls

Life just doesn’t seem to go as planned sometimes.  I have spent the past year and a half dealing with one change after another. It all began when I made the decision to leave my husband.  Things snowballed from there. I had to apply for my own insurance which was an ordeal. I went from working part time to full time. I didn't get the raise I had hoped for it and doesn’t look like it is ever going to happen. My boss closed the gallery so I’m not going to be put on the payroll as I had hoped.  I am very disappointed about that, but there is no point to keep pouting about it because that’s not going to change a thing. I am trying to just be happy that I can work additional hours and am able to afford to live on my own, just barley, but I’m doing it. 

Welcome 2011

The year started off by attending the Mid-Singles New Year’s Eve Dance. This is my 2^nd official Mid-Single Event. I find it really uncomfortable attendingMid-Singles Events. You would never know it by how I am at the YSA activities, because at those I am the one that walks up to everyone and talks them.  The problem at the Mid-Singles Events I feel like such an outsider. Everyone seems to know everyone and has been friends for years. Or that is how it appears. When I attend the YSA Events I usually go carpool with my girlfriend so I am never alone. But, she is younger so I end up flying solo at the Mid-Singles Events. To hide being so uncomfortable I spend most of my time eating so I look busy. I try my best to make small talk, but it’s not always easy for me when everyone seems to know each other and I can't follow the conversation. 

I had high hopes for this event, being my 2^nd official mid-singles event and having spent some time at a few other activities with the mid-singles I figured I would know a few more people. My biggest challenge is I’m really bad with names and I am not good with faces either.  To add to that issue the Halloween Party was my first event and most people wore masks, makeup or just looked totally different then they do in everyday life. I didn’t wear a mask or face paint so everyone is able to recognized me and remember me. In addition most of these people know each other so they were learning one name and I was trying to learn everyone’s.  It’s so embarrassing because people keep coming up to me and I should recognize them, but I don’t.

I got to the New Year's Eve Dance about an hour after the potluck started so everyone was already sitting down and eating so I felt really dumb. The dance got started slowly.  Things got better as the night went on, more people arrived and everyone was very friendly.  I knew a few people so I hung around them and other people actually came up and talked to me which was really nice. For the most part I’ve always bee the one who does the approaching so it's really refreshing to have others come up and talk to me. 

If only things continued to look up. Monday things came crashing down.  I was giving a ride home to my boss and he almost fell down getting in my car. He hasn’t been driving since August and since Dec his health has been rapidly going down hill like a run away roller coaster.  When he got diagnosed with being pre-diabetic back in 2007 he asked for my help and I’ve been trying so hard to help him ever since.  The problem is he wants a quick fix, doesn’t want to admit he is old(he’s 77) and needs to do things differently.  He’s always been very active. Traveling the world, Heli skiing, dancing, etc.  

So, I’m freaked out about that. I really care about him. I don't want to sound cold, but to put it bluntly his health also affects my job or lack of. Then starting Monday after New Years this guy I danced with at the New Year’s Eve dance keeps messaging me, nagging me for my number and telling me how much he misses me and then when I don’t respond back he gets totally offended.  If he was sweet and flirty in his messages I probably would have messaged him back, but he was really demanding and that just annoyed me. A total turn off. And by the way I did finally get back to him and told him...

As I said before I’m not on the payroll so I don’t get paid on a regular basis so I was kind of freaking out about not getting paid, especially since I just got a bill in the mail. Yes, I’m the one who usually pays the bill the day it arrives in the mail. This prevents me from losing it and forgetting to pay it. Good News, I can finally stop stressing about that now. I got paid yesterday.

Lets, see what else have I been stressing about. I called my insurance company because it was suppose to begin Dec 15^th, but I haven’t seen the payment taken out of my account yet, which concerns me. They said they may not process it till Jan 8^th, and if that doesn’t go through they will send me a bill. That doesn’t make me happy. I don’t want to be denied coverage because I haven’t paid it yet.

Then with this all going on I was trying to pack for my trip to Tahoe.  I was really looking forward to going. I’ve never done anything like this before.   It sounded so fun, but I was also scared. I didn’t know most of the people who were going and the few I did know I only met a couple of times. In addition I was carpooling with someone I met once.  To top it off I get motion sick so I wasn’t sure how I would do if I got stuck in the back seat. I lucked out and got to sit up front.  I’m really glad I went on the trip. I was able to get to know more people and made some new friends.  But, then the gossiping started and my world crashed down. I hate gossiping. I had high hopes to finally be part of the group, but if that is what it's like to be in the inner circle I'll pass.

To add to my stress of yesterday. My boss's e-mail has been on the fritz for the past week and I can't figure out what is wrong. And he gave me a new program to learn yesterday and it's not working. Grrr.

Good News for the day. After calling technical support twice and getting hung up on by their system. I called Customer Service and they gave me the correct technical support number.  I guess that is one way to eliminate calls. I called the new technical support number and they solved my problem in a minute. Yea, for technical support.

Good Bye House

It was my choice to walk away from my marriage and my house.  With that being said it wasn’t an easy choice.  It’s not like you can just say good-bye and the next day it’s over.  There is a whole legal process that needs to take place for two people to unbind two lives that were intertwined for so long.  The divorce was final a few months back, but I’ve been waiting on the house. I signed over the house to him today, well sort of. I signed the paperwork to remove my name from the loan, but it still needs to be processed, approved, and then I need to get my name off the deed.  I’ve been anxiously waiting for this day.  Patience isn’t my highest virtue and there has been a lot of anxiety on my part with not living in the house and still having it in my name. I try to just breathe deeply and have faith that he’s not going to pull all the money out of the house and or do something else dumb so he can’t refinance it on his own and I’m stuck being tied to him till the market gets better and we’re able to sell it. All of these horrific scenarios have gone though my mind and have driven me crazy for the last year and a half.

As much as I didn’t want the house, I do feel a bit of loss in this whole process. This was a brand new house that we had built. We designed it and watched it being built from foundation on up.  Then when we moved in I did all the landscaping and interior design.  At the same time I have a love hate relationship with the house and overall I was happy to sign it over to him. 

So, with that said. It’s still not over.  I’m just crossing my fingers that he didn’t do anything that would prevent him from taking over the loan and it will be a quick process. Not knowing is not easy. I just want it all done and over with now.

“Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.”

No one likes getting hurt.  To prevent pain some of us close our hearts, build walls and install iron gates.  This will ensure you don’t suffer pain from friendships gone sour or a broken heart, but you will also be living with a hole in your heart. I’d much rather suffer a broken heart here and get and a few knives in my back then live with a gaping hole in my heart. I have learned that the more open you are the more open others tend to be also.

For many years I lived in fear of people getting to know me, judging me and not liking me. This led me to be a very private person with few friends and even among those friends not really letting anyone in. Back in August of 2009 I started a blog and really put myself out there.  I had this idea that I may not be the only one who has gone through these experiences or feel the way I do about stuff and maybe if I were to open up I will find others that can relate to me. To my surprise I was correct. By my opening up, other in turn opened up and many close friendships have been formed and continue to be formed.  Many of us had no idea we had so much in common.  That is the plus of the experiment. The negative part is my cousin; my mom’s sister’s daughter now hates me. I feel bad for my mom, as we no longer get together with her sister and family for the holiday. But, all is not lost. We now get together with another party of the family, my mom’s cousins and their families and they are the best.  We’ve never been close, but this gave us a reason to get closer. I love this part of the family.  They are a truly amazing group. So, we may of lost a few soldiers in the process, but we gained a full-fledged army.  Ones that truly love and care about me and I know if I ever need someone they will all be there for me. I love my family.

Being hurt by my own flesh and blood really took a toll on me. What happened to the old saying blood is thicker then water? It’s made it even more difficult for me to trust people. I mean if you can’t trust your family then how can you trust someone you just met?  Thus I have been very slow to let people in. I have to say that even thought I will probably continue to get stabbed in the back I have made some friendships along that way that make those knife wounds not so bad. Thank you to those friends that I have let in and love me for who I am. 

It’s amazing to me how God brings people into my life.  I think about the new friends I have met and how our lives have crossed paths. If it weren’t for some really bombed friendships I wouldn’t have met and made some of the friends I have today.  So, as much as I dislike getting knives stabbed in my back, everything happens for a reason. Some of my knife throwers were instrumental in my meeting and making the wonderful friends I have today. 

Mistletoe Madness

Per my friends request that I should toot my own horn more let me tell you about my fabulous New Year’s Eve.  I was the hottest commodity at the Mid-Singles Bash.  (I’m drop dead gorgeous, gainfully employed, have my own place, don’t have any children, I’m a great cook, I can carry on an intelligent conversation, I’m a returned missionary, I have a college degree, I can keep house, I've got a green thumb, and I’m the perfect age for these mid-single men. Who could possibly ask for more?) The men were all swarming around me singing praises to God that I am single.  You should have seem them all crowd around me as the clock struck midnight to see who was going to score that coveted New Year’s Kiss.

(Before I go on I must preface this post by saying I am totally and utterly anti-PDA.  I'm the last person in the world who you will ever see kissing in public. I may write a blog, but I am also very determined to keep my private life private.)

For once I threw all caution to the wind and strutted my stuff. It will probably bite me in the ass as I get black listed by all the other girls, but who cares. New Year’s Eve only comes around once a year and I was determined to have the time of my life.

When I got there the mistletoe was hanging high and everyone must know it's a fungus because they were avoiding it like the plague. Normally I would do the same thing, but tonight was going to be different. Of course that was only determined after someone convinced me to do a little experiment.  What if we kissed under the mistletoe, would it start a snowball effect?  It sounded like a worthy experiment and a great public service so I went along.  I'm all about helping better mankind.

When midnight rolled around and the clock chimed I was surprised to see a lot of hugging, but not much kissing.  Apparently our little experiment failed.  Oh, well we tried to get the fire going.  My partner in crime even went around and danced with many girls under the mistletoe. He must have gotten dirty looks because he didn’t score any more kisses.  I have to commend him for making a valiant effort in trying to get the ball rolling.  I also did my part by spending most of the evening dancing under the mistletoe.  After 6 hours of dancing I was quite disappointed to say I only had one taker. I have no idea what everyone was thinking. This is New Year’s Eve for crying out loud. Isn’t it tradition to share a New Year’s Kiss?

To all of you that passed up the opportunity to kiss me under the mistletoe keep kicking yourself because you missed out.  I have a firm policy that I only kiss random strangers at Midnight on New Year’s Eve.