Nostalgia

Sept. 30, 2008, Sutter's Fort

2008, At the happiest Place on Earth

Some times nostalgia (From Wikipedia: a yearning for the past, often in idealized form) sneaks in and I miss my little girl.  Maybe I'll go visit her this weekend.  It's nice that I have the option to visit her any time I like as having her live with me isn't really an option as we both have allergies.  And the reality is as much as I miss my little girl having her around is a lot of work.  So, for now I'll just go on being nostalgic and miss her on occasion.

It's not DRAMA it's ADVENTURE

How you react to things has to do with how you perceive them.  You can be annoyed by someone because they seem to complain to you all the time. Or you can listen to them and appreciate that they let you into their lives and share.  Your can get overwhelmed and feel like your world can be turned upside down because plans keep changing or you can be thrilled that your life is full of adventure.

My life is one full of adventure at every turn. Those in my life either embrace the fun or take a leave of absence.

When I first moved into my new place Mason said: "I'm needy, demanding, and worth it."  He continually reminds me that I'm worth it too.  Life hasn't been easy for us since I've moved in, but for all of our trials we have gone through we still think the other is worth it and that is what keeps us going.  Along with we continually make the other laugh and it's also the special little things we do for each other.

Sometimes it's better to Dream

Life has been tough these past months and it's gotten worse over the past 6 weeks. So to keep from going crazy I watch lots of movies, read, and day dream about the future when I'm not sleeping.

I once again live down the street from the public library.  So I've been frequenting there quite a bit.  My favorite section is the large print section. Reading books printed in large print really makes a difference when you're drowsy from being drugged up on Benadryl.  I don't have a favorite author as of yet. If you have any ideas for quick reads that won't make me cry I'd love for you to share. I love books that make me laugh out loud and Mason loves hearing me laugh.  He's not so fond of having to comfort me after reading a sad story.

Mason has netflix so that has been keeping me busy as we don't have cable.  I haven't had much success with finding movies, but I am currently watching the TV series Miss. Marple and enjoying it.

As for daydreams. Someday I'd like to wear one of these dresses.  I have no idea what the occasion would be. I guess I could get married in the winter and wear it as a wedding dress, but I'm not sure I'm so fond of a red wedding dress. Maybe I'll find a ball to go to.

Other times I dream about traveling. With my special diet and job uncertainty it's a bit of a challenge to do anything more then just dream. 

If you didn't hear I got notice on Feb. 10th that my boss couldn't keep me on.  I started applying for jobs on Feb 16th and I've been going on between 1-3 interviews a week since Feb. 24th.  But even with all that I still haven't been offered a job. The good thing is my boss keeps asking me to come in and keeps paying me so it's not the end of the world yet.   

Every Sunday I check the travel section and drool. This weekend they featured local lighthouses, so I clipped that page and gave it to Mason to add to ideas of places I want to visit.

Sunday he asked me if I'd like to go camping this summer. I said yes, and let him know that I'd really like to visit some waterfalls. He pulled up the local waterfalls with hikes marked easy so it looks like this dream will come true.  He also suggested camping near the lighthouse.

According to Sunday's paper Pigeon Point Lighthouse is the most photographed lighthouse in CA. Located 50 miles south of San Francisco near the tiny town of Pescadero, the light has been warning mariners since 1872. The tower is one of the tallest on the West Coast.


As they say Diamonds are a girls best friend, so I sometimes dream about the next kind of Diamond I want.  This is what I have come up with so far.

Other times I dream of Paris.  Sometime I want to make it back to Vegas and see O and the Chippendales.  I'd also like to take a ride on a gondola in the Venetian and take some perfect pictures with the Eiffel tower in the background.

Dreams of the future is what keeps me going.

3 weeks and counting...Here I come Tiffany's

I had no idea they had leather goods. Maybe I'll splurge and get this. Something I'll carry with me  all the time.

Many of us bargain with our kids or were bargained with as a kid. If you get straight A’s on your report card I’ll give you $5.  Or if you get your Eagle Scout you can get your Driver’s License. 

Due to the uncertainty of my employment status I may have to settle for something a little less expensive.

Some of us bargain with ourselves.  If I lose 15lbs by summer I’ll buy myself a new suit.  If I got to the gym for 7 days in a row I’ll treat myself to frozen yogurt. If I get all my homework done by Friday I’ll go out clubbing on Saturday.

The item I had in mind when I made the promise to myself. 

For me I promised I’d treat myself to something at Tiffany’s when my divorce came final.  This way instead of focusing on what I lost, I focus on what I’m getting.  Now the questions is what will I get myself. There are so many choices.  So far I have narrowed it down to the 3 pictured.

Money can't buy happiness, but can pay for new memories

Last year this time things were so different I was single and living in my own apartment for the first time in my life. I had a steady job. I was getting ready to go to Scotland and looking forward to going to Bali. I was finally traveling to exotic places and had the whole world ahead of me.

Paris Las Vegas

In a month another chapter of my life will come to a close and a new one will “Officially” begin.  I’m having a tough time letting go and moving on. For some reason this past year keeps flashing thought my head. I have tried so hard to let go of the hurt, anger, and pain, but that is so much easier said then done.  I think it’s a combination of my body being out of whack due to the trauma I’m putting my body through as I get these allergy shots out of the way and just the timing.  I keep thinking about this past year and all of the money I spent.  I know money can’t buy happiness on the other hand it can do a lot.  For one, if I had the money I’d go back to Europe and do it all again on my own this time.  Make new memories and hopefully those will replace the bad ones. I don’t know if it would work, but I’m willing to give it a try.  But I’m too practical to waste my money like that. Being the practical frugal person I am I’m going to have to come up with a cheaper alternative to rid me of these nightmares.

Venetian, Las Vegas

What will that be? I’m not really sure.  I still dream of traveling. I just can’t get it off of my mind. I want to go see the world, I want to go to Oriental NC and see the quaint little town it is, I want to take a bike ride in New England in the fall, I want to go to Thailand in Nov with Julia and Swim in a warm waterfall, I want to go to Fiji and stay in a cute little hut, I want to see the Pyramids of Egypt, I want to stay in a beach house for a week and listen to the ocean as I fall asleep at night.

Maybe next time I get married I’ll get married in Vegas at the Paris hotel or Venetian and take millions of amazing pictures.  It’s not the same thing, but not a bad alternative as all I really want now is pictures. Call me cheezy, but I want my happily every after, my fairy tale. I know life will never be perfect, but there will be perfect moments.