Mending a broken heart

I’m a sucker for love and have the tendency to fall in love way to easily. There seem to be two type of me that come in my life lately. The ones I get in a relationship with and realize that they are scumbags.  Then there is the other few that swoop into my life, turn it upside down and then leave as quickly as they came with my heart in tow.  And that is what happened to me recently.  My knight in shining armor galloped into my life. I guess came what he had to do, saved me from the dragon and then galloped off into the night probably to rescue the next princess.  

I am truly thankful for all he did for me.  And  in my heart I know if he were right for me that things would have worked out, but knowing that doesn’t help mend my broken heart.  As much as I hope and pray it away it just won’t heal.

I’ve tried filling my time, but the only thing that seems to accomplish getting my money’s worth out of my gym membership and I’ve never gotten so much sleep in my life.  For all those nights you wished you got 8hrs of sleep, well I just wanted to let you know that I’m getting them all for you.  It’s sad when you look at your clock wondering if it’s too early to go to bed yet.  I know at least I’m filling my time with good things, going to the gym and getting 8hrs of sleep a night. I’m reading tons and I’m able to easily fit in my daily scripture study, yea for me.  The sad thing is even with all of this time I just feel like I’m passing time rather then doing anything productive. The sad thing is I’ve got all this time, but zero motivation. I have no interest in quilting even thought its sitting ether in front of me. I also have no interest in cooking or eating.  Good thing Josh and I got together 2 weekends ago and made all that food. Now I have lunches for the last week and this week.  It’s wintertime again and I guess I can fill my weekends with snowboarding again, but I’m just not interested.  

Josh suggested that I come and spend my weekend with the puppies. As that will be a no stress drama free active, that will keep me safe.  So while he's gone for the weekends snowboarding it looks like I will be at the house dog sitting and getting my fill of love and snuggling. I hope it's enough that will last me through the week.  Last weekend was my first attempt with my new routine and I have to say it was a success. I love Christmas movies and Lifetime is full of Christmas movies, one right after another. Friday night through Sunday the puppies and I snuggled and watched movies.  I did get off the couch many time to do laundry, go to the grocery store, cook a meal a meal so I have a new dish to add to my lunches, and I made gluten free peanut butter cookies to bring to thanksgiving so I can eat a little dessert.  I have to say that it kept my mind of the boy and I had an enjoyable time and even laughed a little and smiled some.  I even got off the couch long enough on Sunday to make it to church and saw some of my old friends.  Maybe this will be my new routine, till I can come up with something better. You should be proud of me I did join my roommate at a Singles Fireside(aka a mixer with a uplifting message) on Sunday night. So, I'm trying to be social.

In addition the adjustment to no physical affection such as cuddling and watching a movie is killing me so at least hanging out at the house gives me a little fill of snuggling. I guess good thing I work out every day at the gym as I spent all weekend on the couch.

Time is supposed to heal all things, so we’ll see what happens.