A few months back I met this guy and he was telling me he wanted a girlfriend that would keep him in line. He said he had a tendency to watch inappropriate movies and television shows and he wanted a girlfriend that would discourage him from watching those types of shows. When he said this I laughed. I told him that he really didn’t want someone nagging him and judging him and always being on his case, like a mother.
It’s been several months since we had this conversation and I finally get it. I can’t believe that I didn’t get it them. When he told me what he wanted for some reason I was thinking he wanted to date some mother hen that would look over his shoulder all the time and tell him this is right or wrong. In reality he wants exactly what I want. Someone that is an example to you. Someone that makes you want to be a better person. Someone that brings out the best in you.
What brought about this epiphany? My girlfriend let me borrow her box set of “Sex in the City” and suggested I watched it in hopes it will help me get back on my feet from being married to Single again in my 30’s. I’ve been watching it and didn’t realize how raunchy it really was. I never saw it the first go around when it was on tv. After watching several episodes I began thinking that if my friend were me this is the thing he would hope his girlfriend would discourage him from watching. I realize now that if the tables were turned and if I were him, just knowing he has high standards would discourage me from watching inappropriate shows. We’re not even in a relationship, but because he is my friend and I am working on keeping as high standards as he is trying to keep makes me accountable for what shows I watch. He is the type of friend that I want in my life. I need more friends that encourages me to be a better person by their example.
This got me thinking about the friends I keep. I have a core group of friends that keep me on the “straight and narrow path.” These friends hold me accountable for my actions and love me so much that they keep on me to keep close to God and to obey his commandments.
I currently have one friend now that is keeping me accountable on my scripture reading. He challenged me to read my scriptures daily and he said he’ll do the same and we continue to report in to each other.
I have another friend that is keeping me accountable on my Church attendance. We are both struggling going to a new church group and trying to fit in. Just knowing that each of us are really struggling with this and how hard it is for each of us to motivate ourselves to go each week, keeps us both going. We each want to be active in our church because we know it is good for us and going with make us happy. Since we are both aware of this we push each other to go each Sunday and be active in the church groups we are in.
I’m realizing that the friends that really love and care about me the most are the ones that hold me accountable. Even if they don’t hold themselves to the same standard they know what is best for me and encourage me to stick to it. They don’t try to sway me to “the dark side.” This is especially important when it comes to dating and marriage. I really want to be with a person that encourages me to be my best. I’m not saying I want to be with someone that scolds me and reprimands me. I want is to be with someone that encourages me to be a better person though their example. I also want to be with someone that is better then me. Of course they won’t be perfect, but someone that is strong in the areas I am weak and I will be in strong in the areas they are weak, thus helping each other be better people.
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