Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

 My friend is like a fortune cookie. Every time we get together he always says something profound. Or at least gives me something to really think about.  What he says doesn’t always sink in right away and sometimes it takes me a few days or a few life experiences later to really get what he was talking about.  What I love about him is he’s always full of good advice to keep me going on the straight and narrow path.  He’s kind of like me in a way. We’re good at dishing it out, but not always good at following our own counsel. Maybe that is why we have each other, this way we can repeat each other’s advice back to the other and hopefully hearing it in our own words we’ll follow it.

Yesterday at church we had a good lesson and they talked about having friends inside and outside of church and how we can be good influences on each other.  This friend popped into mind as the one that keeps me in line and I keep him in line. If it wasn’t for me encouraging him to go to church each Sunday in the church building he’s suppose to be in I probably won’t feel so guilty to follow my own advice and keep going to church. Maybe guilt isn’t the right reason for me go to church each week, but it’s getting me there and that is the first step. Actually I’ve been there 3 weeks now and it’s getting better. I went to an activity this past Tuesday and the women were really nice. Then on Wednesday one of the women I met the night before invited me over for dinner. It turns out the first and third Wednesday of every month they have a dinner for all the new people, which is a great way for us to get to know everyone. Or at least get to know a few more people.   So guilt may have been the original reason I go to church, but now I’m slowly falling in love with the people around me. After testimony meeting yesterday and hearing everyone’s stories, I really think I’m going to fit in well. They are a very diverse group.  I’ll keep you posted, but as for now I look forward to going back next week and then to dinner next Wednesday, and then there is a cooking class the following day that sounds like fun.  Things may not be as bad as I originally thought when I moved.

I know my blogs aren’t really tightly written stories, but I figured you being my friend would like to know what has been going on in my life. 

Back to my friend’s latest profound insight: “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”   We were talking about dating and kissing and now I am totally stumped.  That’s the problem when we’re together, we go from one topic to the other so quickly that he is like a fortune cookie in the way that he says something, but leaves me hanging.  So, now I’m left to my own accord to figure this out. If he weren’t so busy all the time I’d nail him down and get the dissertation that goes with this.  I mean what am I suppose to do?  I got the part that I shouldn’t be slutty and give it up to everyone, but what about kissing? Is kissing ok? I sure hope so because I kind of like kissing. And if it is acceptable, then when? How hard does one have to work to get that first kiss? 

Kissing seems to be a popular topic around singles because this isn’t the first time it’s come up.  I’ve had this conversation with two other guys and each of them had their own views. One guy was on the same wave as my friend and said that you shouldn’t kiss right away because if you do then it will be over because there is nothing to work towards.

I’m realizing that dating is kind of like a game and kissing is one of the prizes. If you get the prize before the game then you won’t play as hard or as well if you had something to work for. For those of you that need a more tangible example, Football is a great example. The players are motivated all season to keep putting their best efforts first so they have a chance to get into the super bowl. Then they have to keep playing hard to win the Super bowl. If football were just one game I don’t think it would have such a big appeal to men. Thus if you give it up on the first date there is absolutely nothing to keep the guy motivated.

I then talked to another guy and he had an opposite view. He said if you kissed a girl then you’d get a second date because she’d keep coming back for more.

Wow, we have two polar opposites. I think I’m swaying more towards my friend’s view of not giving it out for free. I trust my friend and am realizing he gives really sound advice. So if I ever go out with guy number 2, sorry buddy, but there will be no kissing on the first date. My charming personality will just have to motivate you to want to keep coming back for more.

Plus from the sounds of it Guy #2 has a harem to choose from when he’s in need of some physical affection.  So if I don’t give him any he has plenty of backups. But if he does ask me on a second date then I’ll know he may love the idea of the harem, but in reality he’s really looking for something more. 

This is not a new idea. Guys go out with two types of girls. There is the fun party girls that give a good roll in the hay, but you will never bring them home to meet your mother.  Then there is the girl who is marriage material. The one that you want to be the mother of your children and you are eager to bring home to meet your mother.

As a girl we have a choice.  Do you want to be one of the two girls hanging on his arm when he walks into a party? Or do you want to be the girl that he confides in and has a real relationship with. No one may know you, except his close friends, because he shields you from the media so they won’t take advantage of you.  For me I think I’ll choose the latter. It’s not a very glamorous position, but it’s authentic.   It took me a while to realize it, but I’d rather be one of the few confidants then a member of the unnamed crowd.