Mother’s and Men are very similar in the aspect of they love giving unsolicited advice. Mom have one up on the men in the aspect of we as women will always love our mother’s and will continue going back to them. On the other hand men that continue to give unsolicited advice and drive us crazy we will do our bests to avoid them. We love a good conversation, we don’t always want to be right, but for the most part we aren’t masochists.
For years my mother has driven me crazy with her unsolicited and overall bad advice. I know she means well, but for some unknown reason what she means to say and what she really says and portrays seem to be two different things. On the other hand I am a masochist in the sense of I keep going back to her wanting her approval. I must be crazy.
One thing that drives me crazy is someone telling me how to do my job. Or giving me advice on how to do my job. I realize now that this wouldn’t be an issue if I never talked about my job. The problem is I have this friend that asks how my day went and I out of habit tell him how it went. And him being a “typical male” proceeds to give me advice. Right off the bat, I know the solution to my problem. Don’t talk about my job. That would be the easy fix and would save me lots of headache. On the other hand I am one of those people who is able to solve their problems for the most part by talking them out. So talking about my work or what ever is bothering me in the past has been very beneficial. I want to continue being friends with this person, but if this continues and I am more annoyed with them after talking to them then it’s just not going to work. I have tried to talk to them and explain what is going on. And they are aware that if I wanted advice about something I prefer my story with “I need your help,” “What do you think,” What do you suggest,” etc. I make it very clear at the beginning of my story that I am seeking advice. And they have told me that they are well aware of when I am seeking advice and when I’m not by how I preface things, but they said that they are a “typical male,” and being such will give advice. I have nothing against men, and I want a man to be a “Typical male” in many aspects, but if they want to be on my good side, and want to continue to spend time with me then they need to curb their maleness in this field.
I know as a women there are many times that we know a better, similar, and quicker way to do things On the other hand we have also learned that if we want men to do things we should keep our mouth shut. And Men know that if they do something bad or wrong enough the typical women will say, “never mind, I’ll do it myself.” I picked up on this ploy years ago and have learned to pick and choose my battles and I too do something so bad and so wrong so he will say, “never mind, I’ll do it myself.” It’s amazing at how we can win at their own games. My ex finally picked up on how I won him at his own game, and my response was, “you taught me well.”
If you don’t know what I’m talking about here are some real life examples that you may be able to relate or you have seen played out growing up as a kid. For the most part a man and a women will load the dishwasher two totally different ways. But if a women complains on how the man loads the dishwasher she will end up being the one who always does the dishes. For me, I have learned not to look at the dishwasher and how it is loaded and this way I’m not annoyed and if the dishes need to be rewashed that’s ok. That is one last thing I have to do. The same thing goes with cooking. If he wants to follow the recipe to the “T” and level all the cups and measuring spoons, weigh out everything, etc. That is ok with me, that is not how I cook, on the other hand I am just happy to enjoy a home cooked meal. One thing that many people can’t get past is how the toilet paper is placed on the spindle. For me as long as there is a roll close to the toilet I am happy, and if you actually took the time to put it on the spindle I am even more happy. For me as long as I am not stranded with out tp, I am a happy.
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