My Broken Heart

I have suffered the bigger heartache from what could have been then what really was.  In my last post I shared with you that the relationships I have been in deteriorated over time. Which is good and bad in the sense that I was never really been left broken hearted by a lover. Thus I have been blessed in the sense that  a tragedy never took a  lover from me and a lover never just up and left me.  With that being said I have suffered from a broken heart before, but in a different way.

Once upon a time I was totally head over heels in love with a man and him with me.  We had this amazing spiritual connection; it was as if we were Kindred Spirits.  When we were together I was a different person, a better person, the person I wanted to be. I could visualize a wonderful future with him. I could see his potential and it was amazing. To add to it I was totally attracted to him.  Then one day my world came to an end when he told me he didn’t believe he could live up to my expectations. It was over. The all of a sudden he disappeared from my life almost as quick as he appeared.

That love loss was the hardest for me to get over. Unlike all of my long-term relationships it didn’t deteriorate over time. It was there one day and gone the next. I do appreciate it that he loved me enough to realize that he wasn’t going to be able to give me what I needed and deserve instead of stringing me along with false promises.

Instead of scaring me off from every loving again this experience gives me hope in love. It showed me what I want, what I need. I hope to one day come across another Kindred Spirits and fall madly and deeply in love with him.  It probably won’t happen as quickly, but that is ok and probably better that way. Circumstances around that romance can never be repeated and as wonderful as it was it caught me totally off guard and was quite scary. After loving one person so deeply it reassures me that I can love and I love being in love.  That kind of connection that we shared is out there, but it just needs to be fostered. Which will take time. I’m not a very patient person so this will be a challenge for me to let love grow and develop. I love the feeling of falling in love and I hope to find someone that I can fall in love with and continue falling in love with over and over again.