Dodging bullets & Juggling Balls

Life just doesn’t seem to go as planned sometimes.  I have spent the past year and a half dealing with one change after another. It all began when I made the decision to leave my husband.  Things snowballed from there. I had to apply for my own insurance which was an ordeal. I went from working part time to full time. I didn't get the raise I had hoped for it and doesn’t look like it is ever going to happen. My boss closed the gallery so I’m not going to be put on the payroll as I had hoped.  I am very disappointed about that, but there is no point to keep pouting about it because that’s not going to change a thing. I am trying to just be happy that I can work additional hours and am able to afford to live on my own, just barley, but I’m doing it. 

Welcome 2011

The year started off by attending the Mid-Singles New Year’s Eve Dance. This is my 2^nd official Mid-Single Event. I find it really uncomfortable attendingMid-Singles Events. You would never know it by how I am at the YSA activities, because at those I am the one that walks up to everyone and talks them.  The problem at the Mid-Singles Events I feel like such an outsider. Everyone seems to know everyone and has been friends for years. Or that is how it appears. When I attend the YSA Events I usually go carpool with my girlfriend so I am never alone. But, she is younger so I end up flying solo at the Mid-Singles Events. To hide being so uncomfortable I spend most of my time eating so I look busy. I try my best to make small talk, but it’s not always easy for me when everyone seems to know each other and I can't follow the conversation. 

I had high hopes for this event, being my 2^nd official mid-singles event and having spent some time at a few other activities with the mid-singles I figured I would know a few more people. My biggest challenge is I’m really bad with names and I am not good with faces either.  To add to that issue the Halloween Party was my first event and most people wore masks, makeup or just looked totally different then they do in everyday life. I didn’t wear a mask or face paint so everyone is able to recognized me and remember me. In addition most of these people know each other so they were learning one name and I was trying to learn everyone’s.  It’s so embarrassing because people keep coming up to me and I should recognize them, but I don’t.

I got to the New Year's Eve Dance about an hour after the potluck started so everyone was already sitting down and eating so I felt really dumb. The dance got started slowly.  Things got better as the night went on, more people arrived and everyone was very friendly.  I knew a few people so I hung around them and other people actually came up and talked to me which was really nice. For the most part I’ve always bee the one who does the approaching so it's really refreshing to have others come up and talk to me. 

If only things continued to look up. Monday things came crashing down.  I was giving a ride home to my boss and he almost fell down getting in my car. He hasn’t been driving since August and since Dec his health has been rapidly going down hill like a run away roller coaster.  When he got diagnosed with being pre-diabetic back in 2007 he asked for my help and I’ve been trying so hard to help him ever since.  The problem is he wants a quick fix, doesn’t want to admit he is old(he’s 77) and needs to do things differently.  He’s always been very active. Traveling the world, Heli skiing, dancing, etc.  

So, I’m freaked out about that. I really care about him. I don't want to sound cold, but to put it bluntly his health also affects my job or lack of. Then starting Monday after New Years this guy I danced with at the New Year’s Eve dance keeps messaging me, nagging me for my number and telling me how much he misses me and then when I don’t respond back he gets totally offended.  If he was sweet and flirty in his messages I probably would have messaged him back, but he was really demanding and that just annoyed me. A total turn off. And by the way I did finally get back to him and told him...

As I said before I’m not on the payroll so I don’t get paid on a regular basis so I was kind of freaking out about not getting paid, especially since I just got a bill in the mail. Yes, I’m the one who usually pays the bill the day it arrives in the mail. This prevents me from losing it and forgetting to pay it. Good News, I can finally stop stressing about that now. I got paid yesterday.

Lets, see what else have I been stressing about. I called my insurance company because it was suppose to begin Dec 15^th, but I haven’t seen the payment taken out of my account yet, which concerns me. They said they may not process it till Jan 8^th, and if that doesn’t go through they will send me a bill. That doesn’t make me happy. I don’t want to be denied coverage because I haven’t paid it yet.

Then with this all going on I was trying to pack for my trip to Tahoe.  I was really looking forward to going. I’ve never done anything like this before.   It sounded so fun, but I was also scared. I didn’t know most of the people who were going and the few I did know I only met a couple of times. In addition I was carpooling with someone I met once.  To top it off I get motion sick so I wasn’t sure how I would do if I got stuck in the back seat. I lucked out and got to sit up front.  I’m really glad I went on the trip. I was able to get to know more people and made some new friends.  But, then the gossiping started and my world crashed down. I hate gossiping. I had high hopes to finally be part of the group, but if that is what it's like to be in the inner circle I'll pass.

To add to my stress of yesterday. My boss's e-mail has been on the fritz for the past week and I can't figure out what is wrong. And he gave me a new program to learn yesterday and it's not working. Grrr.

Good News for the day. After calling technical support twice and getting hung up on by their system. I called Customer Service and they gave me the correct technical support number.  I guess that is one way to eliminate calls. I called the new technical support number and they solved my problem in a minute. Yea, for technical support.