Mistletoe Madness

Per my friends request that I should toot my own horn more let me tell you about my fabulous New Year’s Eve.  I was the hottest commodity at the Mid-Singles Bash.  (I’m drop dead gorgeous, gainfully employed, have my own place, don’t have any children, I’m a great cook, I can carry on an intelligent conversation, I’m a returned missionary, I have a college degree, I can keep house, I've got a green thumb, and I’m the perfect age for these mid-single men. Who could possibly ask for more?) The men were all swarming around me singing praises to God that I am single.  You should have seem them all crowd around me as the clock struck midnight to see who was going to score that coveted New Year’s Kiss.

(Before I go on I must preface this post by saying I am totally and utterly anti-PDA.  I'm the last person in the world who you will ever see kissing in public. I may write a blog, but I am also very determined to keep my private life private.)

For once I threw all caution to the wind and strutted my stuff. It will probably bite me in the ass as I get black listed by all the other girls, but who cares. New Year’s Eve only comes around once a year and I was determined to have the time of my life.

When I got there the mistletoe was hanging high and everyone must know it's a fungus because they were avoiding it like the plague. Normally I would do the same thing, but tonight was going to be different. Of course that was only determined after someone convinced me to do a little experiment.  What if we kissed under the mistletoe, would it start a snowball effect?  It sounded like a worthy experiment and a great public service so I went along.  I'm all about helping better mankind.

When midnight rolled around and the clock chimed I was surprised to see a lot of hugging, but not much kissing.  Apparently our little experiment failed.  Oh, well we tried to get the fire going.  My partner in crime even went around and danced with many girls under the mistletoe. He must have gotten dirty looks because he didn’t score any more kisses.  I have to commend him for making a valiant effort in trying to get the ball rolling.  I also did my part by spending most of the evening dancing under the mistletoe.  After 6 hours of dancing I was quite disappointed to say I only had one taker. I have no idea what everyone was thinking. This is New Year’s Eve for crying out loud. Isn’t it tradition to share a New Year’s Kiss?

To all of you that passed up the opportunity to kiss me under the mistletoe keep kicking yourself because you missed out.  I have a firm policy that I only kiss random strangers at Midnight on New Year’s Eve.