I'm that hot

I am ever Single Girl’s worst nightmare. I am the beautiful new girl that swoops in and hooks up with Mr. Hotty.  I really don’t mean to infringe on anyone’s territory, this just seems to be the story of my life lately. For some reason the most eligible bachelor just finds me irresistible.  

It all started this past summer when I went to the YSA branch in search of roommates. The first day of church I was inducted into the “in crowd” and was living the life.  I thought my life couldn’t get anymore perfect. Then I hooked up with the hottest guy in the branch and I felt like I was walking on water. Can I just say it was a magical summer? We went to the state fair and took the cheesiest picture and he posted it as his profile picture. I had no idea things were getting so serious. But, as you well know when you appear in someone’s profile picture then it’s official.  What officially got me blacklisted from the “in crowd” was when he bragged that we made out.  And you know how fast news travels in a Singles group. You tell one person and all of a sudden everyone knows.  I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I can’t blame him for spilling the beans because it was simply amazing.  I don’t recall ever being kissed like that before. My toes totally curl ever time we kiss. 

After capturing the heart of the hottest guy in the YSA group it was time for me to move on. My next destination was the Mid-Singles scene. I made a grand entrance into the Mid-Singles wearing the most amazing mermaid costume. When I walked in every head turned. And to this day I am known as the "Mermaid Girl." Just in case you missed the party let me tell you, I was by far the hottest girl there. The guys were swarming around me.  It wasn’t easy keeping them at bay.  With every guy trying to win my affections for the evening I was surprised to see the guy that all the girls were swarming around make his way by my side.  Most guys wouldn’t give up the chance to have a harem of girls for a chance to win a single girl’s heart.  Well, what ever he did it worked and there are pictures to prove it. If you look at all the pictures cataloging the evening you will notice that he was able to deter all the other guys and kept me to himself all night long. I have to say he was pretty impressive in that regard. You will also see millions of pictures of him with every girl at the party too. Next look at all the picture of me, he’s in every single one. I don’t know what he told those other guys to get rid of them. Maybe they just knew they couldn't compete with him. Being that "He's All That." He was the envy of every guy. And I was the envy of every girl there. Don't we just make the cutest couple?!  

I can keep going, but I think you get the point. Unless you want to hear who I hooked up with at the New Year’s Eve Dance and the amazing New Year’s Kiss we shared.

It’s funny how people assume things. The saying is so true. If you assume you make ass out of yourself.  

From the outside it totally looked like I hooked up at all these events. Truth be told that is not how it went down at all. For starters when I went the YSA branch I was just looking for a roommate and wasn’t looking to date at all.  I am much older that that group so I did't think this would be an issue. I did become friends with Mr. Hotty  At the time I didn't care what he looked like or if he were I guy or girl. I would have preferred to of hooked up with a girl.  I was totally friendless at the time and very shy and very stressed.  I was in desperate need of a friend. I confided in Mr. Hotty and he was very sweet, took pity on me, and befriended me.  He made sure I got an invite me to all the activities and spent time with me. He was always there for me when I needed a friend and I spent many nights crying on his shoulder. Because we spent so much time together and were so close people started assuming things.  It resulted by me being blacklisted from the group. That really stunk because those girls were so much fun and I was in desperate need of friends.  Being blacklisted was probably the best thing for me. I was able to make a couple of genuine friends after that. At about the same time I moved and joined the family ward and it was time for me to joint the Mid-Singles group where I belonged.

As for what really happened at the Mid-Singles Halloween Party. I did show up in the most amazing mermaid costume and looked totally hot. But, there were no guys swarming around me. Not even close. I came alone to the party and felt totally out of place. This was my first Mid-Singles Event and I didn’t know anyone. In addition everyone seemed to know everyone else. I tried talking to people, but just felt so awkward and out of place.  A few people came up to me and introduced themselves and introduced me to their friends.  But, I didn’t seem to connect with anyone. If it weren’t for Edward who kept coming up to me and talking to me and dancing with me I probably would of left.  It helped that my girlfriend showed up and said she knew Edward and assured me he wasn’t going to take me out back and suck my blood.  So, I felt pretty safe with him. I tried not to follow him around too much. I didn’t want to be one of those annoying people that you smile at then won’t leave you alone all night. So I kept my distance and thankfully he kept coming back and rescuing me from my awkwardness. I have to say he had the best costume to get all the girls hearts fluttering. Girls swarmed around him all night long.  They all wanted their pictures taken with him.  I’m not into Twilight, so I wasn’t part of his harem. Truth be told he did look hot, but what mattered most was someone was talking to me.  So, thank you Edward for making my first Mid-Singles Event a pleasant experience.  You are my hero. I have to say I feel honored that you took the time to talk to me with that harem following you.  Unlike me you didn't lack for friends and people to hang out with.

Back to those who love to assume. Here is my public service announcement for the day. Stop assuming because you will only make an ass out of yourself. Two months later I come to find out that some guys didn't come up to me at the Halloween party because my good looks were intimidating. In additon I appeared to be with Edward.  That is very gentleman of you not to steal me away. But, now that you know the truth, don't you feel dumb?  This can be the reason you are still single you assume too much. If you want dips on the pretty girl you need to be more like Edward, were a costume that will get all the girls hearts fluttering and help that new girl out and talk to her so she doesn't feel like the biggest dork standing there all alone.