I am a real push over. If asked to give a helping hand I will usually drop all I am doing to help a friend in need even if it's at the expense of my own well being. That is just the type of person I am. I am a real problem solver and easily guilted into doing things because I feel sorry for the person. I rarely go back on my word, if I promise to do something 99.9% of the time I follow through.
So, here's the story. Next week my ex will be out of town and I am scheduled to stay at the house and watch the dogs. This was arranged a few months back. I text him yesterday to firm up the details. He's leaving Saturday Night so I'll be arriving Sunday and all should be well. Then he informs me that by the way I'm leaving my car in the garage so you will have to park in the driveway. You may think this is quite normal, but for us. We've always been able to fit two cars in the garage. So, I inquire into what happened. He tells me that "I have to do some rearranging for my project. Eventually I will fix it so two will fit again, this is just temporary." To you this may not seem like anything unusual, but to me this is a red flag. I recall about a month back I went over to pick up my dog and he said not to go through the garage because of a project he was working on. So, I didn't and that was that. I'm not a curious person. I know that curiosity killed the cat so, if someone says don't look, or don't touch I don't. Then I recalled talking to him about the same time and he made a joke about while I was house sitting I would need to also water his pot plants. I seriously thought this was a joke and just laughed it off. Just to let you know I'm not as dumb as I look so I put two and two together and ask him if he was joking about me watering his pot plants. To my shock he says "Nope, otherwise they will not be happy. It's no big deal. I'll write out what to do. Please, otherwise I have to get a friend to do it."
So, here I am in total shock that my ex is growing pot in the house. I text him back and tell him "I can't do this. Can you find someone else to house sit? I thought you were joking." At this time he also informs me that he got a card so it's legal at the house. As if that is going to make me feel better? I know how those prescriptions work they are just like having a service dog. They are for a specific person not a house, so I am not covered under that so, "No," that doesn't make me feel any better. I know I live in Sacramento and we are a pot loving, selling, smoking, eating, drinking, and 360 friendly community, but I am not one of their supporters. As long as they keep to themselves and don't infringe on my lifestyle I won't infringe on theirs. He responds back with "Ohh jeez. Really!!! I'm so sorry didn't mean to upset you. I may just move them out of the house will let you know. That was another option to not burden you with all of this." That was the conversations that transpired yesterday morning. So I stressed about it all day, what if he had someone else come in and take care of them? What if he moved them all to the garage? I felt really bad about wanting to back out of housesitting since I promised to do it and it's for a whole week and it really is an inconvenience to have a friend to come over every day twice a day to care for the dogs.
I feel responsible to take care of the dogs since one of them is mine and I'm kind of storing her at the house till I have a place where I can really take care of her. She could come and stay with me at my apartment, but it just seems like it would be stressful to have a dog living with me in an apartment. And her purpose in life is to reduce stress so I think that would be counter productive. So, with that in mind I want to keep peace with my ex so he will keep caring for her for me.
Just to give you some additional background to my life at the moment. I'm not feeling so hot. I have a cold, I'm really tired, my allergies are killing me and there is a good possibility I'm extra moody due to PMS. Thus, I keep thinking that maybe it isn't a big deal and maybe I'm making it out to be worse then it really is and causing myself undue stress. To add to my stress mid-day a friend of mine starts up a deep conversation via chat which makes me feel even worse. And don't forget yesterday was Thursday so I'm also at work and trying my best to focus and get my work done.
After stressing all day and since my ex didn't get back to me as to whether or not he is going to move the plants. I figure I better get back to him. I would hate to assume he found someone else and he assumed I would be there and then the dogs would be alone for a week. That would be horrible.
This is what I came up with "I've thought about it and unless the pot plants are off the premises I can't dog sit. I'm sorry for the short notice, but I had no idea you were serious. It never dawned on my that you would take up pot growing as a hobby. Hopefully you can find someone who can do both. If you can't find anyone then I can pick up Belle and maybe you can take Taco to your Mom's house."
He texted me back "It's ok. I have taken care of it. Adam is staying this weekend and next, and Bill said he would come by during the week. I completely understand you not wanting to be over. Yea, a hobby I can sign off my bucket list. Probably won't last very long, you know me and gardening we shall see. If I ditch them I will let you know."
Well, I have to say that turned out much better then expected. I was afraid he'd be mad since I backed out last minute.
I have to say I am very proud of myself for not caving in. These past few years I have learned a lot of valuable lessons. Learning to say "No" has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. I may not have perfected it, but I'm getting better at saying "No" and better at getting up and walking away for uncomfortable situations. I really amaze myself sometimes.
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