I have a very busy life and try to make every moment count. I love reading, but for now I just don't want set aside the time to read and I have a hard time sitting still. So my 60 minute commute to work gives me a window every day to read, but since that wouldn't be very safe I choose to listen to books on CD. I am very picky on the CD's I choose to listen to. As much as I love a good mystery I know that I need to work on me and retrain my mind to think differently so I don't struggle as much with depression and anxiety. Thus I choose books and speakers that help train my mind. My favorite book is Happiness Now by Robert Holden. Another book I loved was the Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama. These two books were what brought me out of my depth of depression in 2009. I also love listening to Joel Osteen. When some hear his name they cringe because they equate him with a money grubbing televangelist. And it's true he does broadcast his sermons. Others may not like him as they think of him as "Gospel Light." Someone who leaves you feeling good and happy at the end of his sermons. And that is what I love about him. It's the perfect start to my day. I love listening to his uplifting feel good messages.
People have a tendency to judge and when they walk by my car they may roll their eyes as they see it filled with a ton of self help CD's. Now you have heard my story I hope you won't get the wrong idea that I'm searching for a new cure or new God. I don't become born again every time I listen to someone. I don't put them on a pedestal and think they are my new hero. I take what everyone says with a grain of salt. I have my own values and opinions and I think does that work with what I believe? If it goes along with my inner belief system then I embrace it, if not I just brush it aside and think that is just another way of looking at something, but it's not for me.
For me this is a way of getting the training with out having to take the time to take a class or spend the money in individual counseling. From my last therapist I know that I need to relearn how to interpret the world around me so I don't get so anxious and depressed. Unfortunately I didn't learn these skills as a kid growing up and that has put me to a great disadvantage in the world. I am doing my best to play catch up and to change me so I can enjoy my life better. I am hoping that this is a less expensive, but just as effective alternative to one on one sessions with a therapist. Because the reality is I don't need a shrink to analyze my childhood or my last 3 marriages, what I really need is a teacher to hold my hand and say wait maybe this is a better way of interpreting this or that. Since having someone stand by my side 24/7 is unrealistic, I am setting for having someone nudge me twice a day and hopefully their lessons and ideas will settle in and I can make them my new way of life of thinking. At least that is my hope. We'll see how it goes.
Just in case you are wondering what Joel Osteen says, here is an example of a thought he posted on his Facebook page.
“You are where God wants you to be at this very moment. Every experience is part of His divine plan. Be confident and thankful that He has a special purpose for your life.”
This is so good to hear as sometimes I wonder if I really screwed up God’s plan for me as I choose this or that path. Hearing this helps to calm my nerves a little bit and remind me that there is something bigger then me out there orchestrating my life. So no matter what weird path I choose there will be a path created to lead me back where I’m suppose to be. It’s kind of like the game Chutes and Ladders.
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