The stability of a relationship used to be kept under wraps until the invention of facebook. Now the stability of a relationship is front cover news. It’s amazing how someone can go from single to in a relationship and it’s complicated. I seriously don’t get it. Of course a relationship is complicated, but that’s the nature of a relationship. I figure I’ll keep my fb status as single till I’m married. Why should I keep switching my status every time a guy walks in and out of my life. Or maybe I should change my status to “open relationship” to let others know that I don’t really want to be single and alone, but I’m open to the idea of having a relationship. That will really throw everyone for a loop.
As for now I’m still waiting for my final divorce paperwork to arrive in the mail so I’m not “dating” per say, because that just wouldn’t be morally right. On the other hand I’m happy to have friends of both genders to hang out with and spent time with and get to know. Isn’t that what life is all about, forming relationships with others. I guess you can be a hermit if you really want, but that doesn’t seem like much fun.
My question is why do “relationships” have to be so complicated? I’m not just referring to dating relationship, but also friendships. Why can’t we all just get along and have fun? Is that so hard to ask? We all need to lighten up, laugh a little more, and enjoy the small things in life, and take time to smell the flowers.
Why are people so quick to label what they see, but know nothing about? Why is it if I’m a friend with one person, I can’t be a friend with another? It’s just not fair. Making friends has always been a challenge for me. I’m a very personal and private person and it’s hard for me to open up enough so I am able to make friends. I just don’t like putting myself out there for fear of getting hurt. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of networking to find friends. It all came about when I was talking to a guy about how he finds girls to date. He makes lots of girl friends, in the hopes that they will all have friends and maybe he will be interested in dating one of their friend’s friends. For him it has worked out well, in the last year he has acquired a girlfriend from this process. His ability to network and having a large friend base has also helped me to make new friends. As I’ve become friends with his friend’s friends. The bad part of networking is everyone is interconnected and being friends with one person can cause hurt feelings with another. I wish I could find a work around in these situations.
I would of thought that having a large friend base would be good. I’ve always had the theory of the more the merrier. I’m finding out the hard way that friendships in the single world is convoluted. It’s like the eco system, it’s a very delicate balance and one wrong move can send everything spinning totally out of control.
Here is the most current of situations. Friend X said Friend A was a nice person so I became friends with Friend A. Things were going well for a while. Friend A and I really hit it off and spend lots of time talking and some time hanging out together. Unfortunately Friend A liked me in a more then a just friends way. I kind of just brushed it aside since I have a few other friends that also like me in a more then friends way, but they know that I only like then in a just friends way and they are content being my friend. Friend A really talks up his friends and talks about me to his friends and introduced me to his Friend B. B and I have really hit it off. We aren’t dating since I’m still waiting for my paperwork, but we spend lots of time together and are really good friends. As I said I have a couple of friends have high hopes that we will one day be more then just friends, but that are content being my friends till that time since we are all benefiting from the relationships that we have. The problem arose when I realized that Friend A was causing additional stress in my life. He may not be the starter of gossip, but he also isn’t the ender of gossip. I need a friend that is strong enough to put a stop to gossip or to walk away from the gossip. I don’t need a friend that will pass on the gossip to me. I am dealing with enough drama in my life right now I don’t need to be friends with a “shit stirrer.” To add to it not only did Friend A, not stop the gossip he started posting things about me on his face book wall. Alluding that we were more then friends. That just put me over the edge and for a day I stopped responding to his texts and calls, trying to figure out how to best confront him. Two days later I called him and tried to talk to him, but by then it was too late he didn’t want to hear what I had to say and decided us being friends just wasn’t going to work. It seems odd to me that a friendship can deteriorate so fast. Or did things end so abruptly due to Friend A introduced me to his friend C . And now Friend C and I have been spending a lot of time together. Here is an odd scenario, that would sort of explain Friend A’s behavior. Maybe Friend A has driven by my house and is upset and extremely jealous because he has seen Friend’s C’s vehicle outside. I really can’t believe he would do that, but it seems totally bizarre to me that all of a sudden he would go from being a friend that we talk on the phone for hours with and share our lives with to someone that seems to be mad at me and acts like my enemy. If that is so, that is very creepy. Who spies of their friends? In the last few weeks I’ve learned that jealousy can turn the best of friends in to the worst enemy. The drama continues. I am sad to loose friend A’s friendship, but to make matter’s worse. Friend A and D are Friends and Friend C and D are best friends. It looks like my being friends with B is affecting his friendship with D. Now that just isn’t right. It’s not fair that B and D can’t be friends since A doesn’t want to be my friend and is making D choose sides. I really thought this would only happen to a friendship of girls, but apparently guys friendships are just as convoluted. Things are still playing out. Hopefully B and D can come to an understanding and can continue to be friends.
My joining the single scene at church sure has caused a lot of additional drama. On the other hand from what I hear, ever time a new pretty girl comes in the same problems arise. And to add to it all I’m not even really dating. I’m just trying to have fun and make friends.
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