What I fear most about getting re-married

The thing I was looking forward to being single most was making girlfriends. My greatest fear of getting married again is not having friends.   I know that is probably not the biggest concern of most divorced people.  Many people who have had their heart broken guard their hearts are maybe afraid to open their hearts again and become vulnerable to the possibility of having their hearts broken again.  I am not afraid of opening up my heart again.   I have experienced a broken heart many times and it’s not fun, but the feelings of being in love are worth the pain. 

My greatest fear of getting married again is feeling more alone being married then being single.  It’s great to be married to one’s best friend, but it’s also nice to be able to have friends in addition to one’s spouse.   I want to have girlfriends that I can spend time together and hang out with, to bounce ideas off, to laugh with.  I also want to find other friends that are couples that we can do things with. I have found this very difficult in the past due to we didn’t have children. Every couple we knew had kids and didn’t want to do things without their kids and since we didn’t have kids it was difficult to do things together. I see other couples with kids find other couples with kids the same age so they can play together while the adults spend time together doing adult things.  I don’t want to just have kids so we can fit in, I want to have kids because we want kids and are ready to raise kids.

I have no ideas on how to make more girlfriends. I’m finding it very difficult to make girlfriends in the singles church group.  The biggest challenge I am having is “I am the new pretty girl” and instead of girls wanting to be my friend they find me a threat.  Things just aren’t working as planned.  I didn’t think it would be so difficult to make friends. I am thankful for the few friends I have made.  Maybe once I have a boyfriend they won’t feel threatened by me and will want to be my friend.   That seems like a weird motivation to get a boyfriend.   The other issue I am having of making real friends is it seems like my views on things are a lot different then the other single women in the church. I am single due to choice and many of these women resent the fact that they are single.   I’m hoping that as I get to know these women or other women we can connect on other levels.