Sugar Daddy

I am not a gold digger, but haven’t we all thought of it? After two lousy marriages I’ve seriously considered finding me a “Sugar Daddy.” If I wasn’t going to be successful in love, why not buy and eat my way to happiness. Or at least drown my sorrows with buying power. I know you can’t buy love or happiness, but you can shop to till you drop. I’ve never had the luxury of shopping till I dropped and I thought it would be a nice change. Wouldn’t it be fun to walk down Rodeo Drive or 5^th Avenue or just go to the mall and be able to buy anything?  This is one of my crazy fantasies that will never come true because I’m just way too frugal.  It just kills me to waste money.  I went to IKEA last year and had a panic attach when we checked out and ended up leaving with 1 out of the 5 items that we picked out. It wasn’t that we couldn’t afford the items; it was more that we really didn’t need the items. Truth be told I’m totally paranoid about money.   Since college I have bought 99.9% of my clothing at Goodwill. This way I can wear designer fashion with out having to pay the jacked up prices.  I seriously dream of one day of just being able to go shopping and pick out a new outfit from head to toe, with matching jewelry, shoes, handbag, etc.  I know I’m a little over the top when it comes to spending money. Most people have the problem with the inability of live with in their means. I have the opposite problem. I am unable to spend money. I have grown up in an environment that taught me to save everything and prepare for the future.   Which has caused me the inability to enjoy all that I have with out a very guilty conscious. The good part of it is I’ve never had to really stress like some has about money. I know that if the world comes to an end I do have a reserve and I will be able to survive and I will never end up totally homeless. And if all fails I can always move home with Mom and Dad, not an ideal situation, but it’s good to know that I will never have to live under a bridge.  My parents may never win any parenting awards, but I know they love me and will do anything for me, they will always have my back and that is reassuring.

A friend of mine recently told me that  “you can marry more money then you can ever make.” Very true, but in the end I really want to marry for love next time.  The first two times I got married to get out of situations.  Instead of marrying someone due to my convoluted logics and my logics for marriage is very convoluted.  This time I plan to marry because I really love him and want to spend the rest of this life and eternity with him. Before we get married we’re going to talk about the future. Make sure we are working towards the same things and have the same vision. 

Here is a new twist. This time I actually am planning on having a family with him. I know this is a total shock to some of you. I’m finally growing up and looking at the big picture. Don’t worry we’re not going to rush into it, but it’s going to be part of the plan. So with that we’re going to discuss how we’re going to raise our kids. I know this a big step for me. Maybe this is why I don’t have kids yet, I didn’t have a husband that I wanted to be the father of my kids and wanted the same thing I wanted for a family.

They say third time is a charm and I’m counting on it.