Can Men and Women be friends? According to Harry in the movie “When Harry Met Sally” it’s impossible because sex always gets in the way. I have a few really good male friends so my immediate response is Harry is dead wrong. But, then I got thinking, what if he is right? What if all Male/Female friendships are always one sided? Is one person always hoping for more, but just trying or pretending to be content to appeases the other person?
They always say you should marry your best friend so maybe more Men and Women should be friends first. I really like this theory. I am kind of getting sick of dating. I know I’ve only been in the dating scene a couple of months, but it’s really exhausting and stressful. Everyone seems so on edge when they go on dates. Or maybe I’m just dating the wrong people or going on the wrong types of dates. Lately I’ve been having so much more fun just hanging out with my friends. I don’t have to worry about what I wear, how I look or what I say. I can just be me. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying I don’t want to go out on dates or I’m not looking forward to going out with a certain someone. I just want to have more fun and want my dates to be more relaxed when we go out.
The reality is it’s very tricky to go from being best friends or “just friends” to lovers. On the other hand it should be easier to date someone you already have history with and know everything about then dating a complete stranger. If you date someone you are already friends with then you already know what they like and can do tons of fun stuff together that you both enjoy. And you won’t annoy each other to no end. It’s really bad when you date someone and the more you get to know them the more they drive you crazy. If that person was already was your friend that wouldn’t happen, you would know all their annoying quarks and would have already accepted them and love them or they wouldn’t still be your friends.
If you were hoping I was going to tell you how to make that transition from being best friends or “just friends” to lovers you are out of luck. I have no idea. That is one of those mysteries that no one really knows. I do have one male friend that I find totally hot and would totally date him, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon. And as much as I’m in love with him the reality is there are some things about his personality that I really couldn’t live with. So, I’m more in love with the idea of him that actually him. As for my other male friends. I don’t know if I would date them. Two are married and I totally love their wives so I have no interest in them other then friendship. And the others, I don’t know them well enough to know if I would ever date them. I have to say if you want to date me you have a better chance of me falling in love with you if you are my friend first. Make me laugh. Don’t just take me to dinner and a movie, but do fun stuff with me. Get groups of people together and let’s do stuff. I may be a girl, but I like to get dirty and keep active. I like to play games and go exploring. We live in a city with tons of history, let’s be tourists for the day. Let’s go hiking and slide down the muddy mountain or explore those caves. Let’s build or bake or cook something. Did I tell you I’m a succor for food? Not many things will get me off my lazy butt and out of my warm apartment, but if you say you are cooking my favorite dessert or something yummy. I’m there. I know one guy has figured this out as I seem to keep showing up at his place every time he has an open invitation for food. Being single and working full time has really changed the things that motivate me.
I believe it is possible for men and women to just be friends. I think that there must be some kind of red flag getting in the way of a true relationship for it to happen though. For instance, I have a non-member female friend who I love spending time with, but because she's not a member, I will never look at her as more than a friend and for whatever reason she has, she doesn't look at me any differently.
ReplyDeleteThere are women who I instantly take a shining to and then others where I don't really see her value to me until we get past that phase where each is trying to impress the other.
I also get tired of dating from time to time. In fact, sometimes I don't even feel like talking to some of my female friends because I'm always trying to keep up the act that there's nothing ever wrong with me. It becomes such a headache and I just wish there were more opportunities where men and women could put aside the façade and just act how they truly are.