Finding Fulfillment in One’s life

Fulfilling my Dreams

After leaving Waste Management back in 2002 I though I wanted to find a do nothing job.  One where I just went to work did my thing and left.  Something well below my skill level, where I used virtually no brain cells, and thus created virtually no stress. I thought of getting a task job. Like working in the mailroom or something.

10 years later I wonder if I would have been happy with a job like that.  For the past 7 years I had a sometimes easy do nothing job and other times I was the Savior for my boss. Looking back I realize I really love being the go to person. I love having all the answers and being to solve all the problems.  Being the problem solver I felt smart and appreciated. And other times I loved the monotony of my job. I also loved the times I’d come in and work for 8hours alone watch/listen to a move and just do the “easy, do nothing part” my job done. After passing the job onto my co-worker I realized that “easy, do nothing part” part of the job wasn’t that easy at all.  I was just really good at what I did.

I’m wondering if my current position is really for me.  I like that for the most part the work it’s not really stressful.  I have figured out a system that seems to be working for me. I come in every day do my job and leave. The thing that really frustrates me is occasionally people ask me questions and then I give them answers and then someone else overhears what I say and reprimand me for giving the WRONG answer.  I’m to the point of wanting to say, “Why don’t you ask X.”  In addition I have been working really hard at not saying anything to be helpful.  The other week two of my co-workers were working on something and I knew the answers, but I resisted offering my assistance, as I just can’t take being yelled at anymore.  Not that anyone really yells at me, but they go on and on lecturing me at how wrong I am. And personally it’s not worth it for me to open my mouth anymore. Now I come to work do my best to just sit there all day quietly and do my job.  For now to save frustration and keep from crying at work. I guess I’ll just let them think I’m an idiot.  Good thing my current boss knows me better. And the thing is that is all that really matters.  We all know that it’s your boss that can help you progress at work more then the other worker bees around you. (I thought a worker bee was a better way to put it then say peons.)

Thus I keep my fun loving self, smart self on reserve for those that appreciate me.  Now, the question is do I want to continue doing a virtually stress-free job at work. Or do I want to find a job/career that is more fulfilling. It’s a catch-22. I do enjoy coming to work, doing my thing and leaving. I enjoy my routine.  It I could not let the little things bother me like mentioned above I think I’d love my job.  Other then I need to find more balance in my life.  I need to get settled into a fulfilling routine.  To assist with that I signed up for a quilting class today. I thought that might get me back into quilting and that would give me something to look forward to do at night and assist me with a feeling of daily accomplishment. I’d also like to figure out how to add in a workout routine.  This has been a challenge due to blood sugar issues.  Hopefully now that I’m in my new place and one stress has been eliminated that my body will bounce back and I’ll be able to figure this out.  Let me just say that I’m still having a hard time adjusting to working full time. Working is ok, but it’s really affecting my ability to live a well-rounded life. 10 hours a days is being sucked into working. How every I look at it, work is over rated and not good for balance.  So, even if I found a more fulfilling job, one where I feel needed and appreciated, I still won't feel fully satisfied with life if it was 40 hours a wk as it would still be effecting my need for balance in my life.  I'm thinking I need an amazing job that was only 30 hours a week.